You know, I never pictured you as a stoner, Donald…

While I was watching my Tennessee Titans get pantsed on national TV, Donnie Politics was busy reinventing himself as America’s most unlikely cannabis influencer. Out of completely nowhere, he hopped on Truth Social to declare cannabidiol (CBD for short) the miracle fix for every senior citizen problem under the sun.

According to his video (that looked like he might have produced himself while smoking a blunt) hemp oil can ease pain, slow memory loss, and “revolutionize” senior healthcare.

And just like that, every 2019 crypto bagholder crawled out of hibernation, and Money Twitter lit up with the question: “are weed stocks finally back?” Spoiler: the charts say yes. Canopy Growth and Tilray sparked nearly +20% higher. Aurora Cannabis cruised up 13.7%. Cronos rolled a 9.5% gain. And the AdvisorShares Pure U.S. Cannabis ETF (MSOS) went nuts, ripping 25.2%... capping off a nearly 70% quarterly run, its best ever.

This isn’t Donnie’s first run-in with hemp either. Back in 2018, he signed the Farm Bill that legalized hemp nationwide. It was a big step, but the real prize (marijuana) is still federally stuck in Schedule I purgatory. That puts it in the same legal bucket as heroin and LSD. Now, with Trump back in the Oval, his latest CBD love letter video feels like a teaser trailer. The Biden crew already tried nudging weed toward Schedule III (which would cut tax burdens and soften the criminal penalties) but Trump looks ready to one-up them.

(Source: Reuters)

Why does that matter you ask? Because Schedule III would be YUGE. Cannabis companies would finally trash Section 280E, the IRS rule that blocks them from claiming standard business deductions. Right now, they’re paying sky-high effective tax rates that makes weed stocks almost impossible to invest in. Reclassification also paves the way for weed firms to list on U.S. exchanges instead of rotting in penny stock purgatory. And if the IRS chains come off, you can bet institutional investors (think big banks and retirement funds) will become stoners again.

Of course, nothing in weed land is ever stable. Cannabis stocks are notoriously volatile. Canopy Growth has lost half its value this year. Meanwhile, Cronos and SNDL are both up more than 30%. The whole sector might be more shady than the altcoin industry (and that’s really saying something).

But make no mistake about it, Trump may have just given weed investors their first clean hit in years. Of course, whether this is just a one-hit wonder or the start of a new “CBD for Boomers” bull market depends on how fast reclassification actually happens… and whether Uncle Sam finally stops treating weed like it’s scarier than fentanyl. For now, though, the pot crowd is higher on hope than they’ve been in a long time.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News doesn’t hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.