Jamie Dimon’s POV finna be like (courtesy of Trump)... 

(Source: Reddit

Jamie Dimon should’ve stuck to yelling at interns and selling CDs to boomers… because Donnie “Don’t F*ck With Me” just filed a $5 billion lawsuit against JPMorgan Chase and Dimon personally over the whole post–Jan. 6 “debanking” situation.

And yes, this is exactly as petty as it sounds. According to the lawsuit, JPM allegedly closed multiple Trump-related accounts in early 2021 after decades of doing business together… not because of “risk” or “compliance” or whatever beige excuse banks hide behind… but because the political energy was bad JPM wanted to look morally hydrated. 

Naturally, Trump took that personally… 

(Source: The Daily Shot) 

For more context, the suit claims JPM did it “without warning,” gave them a few weeks to move a bunch of money around, and offered zero recourse. And then comes the real girthy part: Trump says JPM put him on some kind of internal banking blacklist that other banks saw… which made it harder for him and his businesses to get services elsewhere. F’around and Find out, Jamie. 

Meanwhile JPM is doing the classic “we’re not political” routine… saying they don’t close accounts for political or religious reasons, they close them for legal/regulatory risk. Spoiler: They do. And it shows especially as Dimon has been putting the “Amendment” in the “First Amendment” lately (read: free speech). If you recall, Dimon Hands has been pushing back on the White House credit card interest cap idea, warning it would restrict credit and “hurt consumers.” He’s also been taking shots at Trump’s immigration crackdown and ICE enforcement tone. Now again, you can call that “free speech”... or you can call it what it is: Jamie Dimon forgot he lives in a country where #45 is now #47. So now we get this beautiful American moment where the biggest bank in the country is being sued by the President because they ghosted him in 2021.

(Source: Imgflip) 

That said, let’s be real here. JPM is still JPM. This bank could get sued by God and the stock would be up 0.3% by lunch because bank investors like it rough. But culturally, this is a different story. Because “debanking” is the new political obsession. It’s not even about Trump… It's about the idea that banks can quietly decide who gets to participate in the economy, then hide behind the word “risk” like it’s a priest collar.

Meaning regardless, Trump is gonna Trump, Dimon is gonna Dimon, and we’re just here for the entertainment and whatever it brings with it. Translation: America stays undefeated. Until next time, friends… 

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News does not hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.