Bad news, Pfizer… Donald Trump just made your “Made in Switzerland” heart pills about as welcome as fentanyl at a middle school D.A.R.E. rally.

After teaming up with RFK Jr. to float his Tylenol-autism hot take, Donny Politics is now raining fire on Big Pharma. Starting October 1, the U.S. will hit all branded or patented drug imports with a 100% tariff. Meaning: if your drug has a fancy trademark and isn’t cooked up in an American lab, it’s about to cost double. Unless, of course, you’ve got a construction crew in Houston breaking ground on a state of the art new drug factory…  in which case, congratulations, you’re tariff-proof.

Trump, apparently fresh off a binge of Bridgerton declared on Truth Social: “There will, therefore, be no Tariff on these Pharmaceutical Products if construction has started.” Basically, if you can rent a bulldozer from Home Depot and pour some cement, you’re safe.

No one in pharma is pretending to be surprised here. The big boys (Eli Lilly, J&J, AbbVie, and their billion-dollar friends) have been tripping over themselves to look “Made in America” and dodge another late-night Donnie Politics sermon on Truth Social. Case in point: Eli Lilly just dropped plans for a $6.5B plant in Houston, right after pledging $5B for another one in Virginia. And wouldn’t you know it, both announcements just happened to roll out right before Trump cocked back the tariff cannon.

(Source: CNN)

On top of that, J&J is staring at a $400M tariff expense for 2025, which execs brushed off on their earnings call while politely reminding everyone: “There’s a reason pharma tariffs are zero… shortages, duh.”

Meanwhile, economists are gnawing their Bic pens down to nubs. In 2024, the U.S. imported $213B worth of drugs… triple a decade ago. Jack those prices up 100% and it’s either patients footing the bill or generics peacing out of the U.S. altogether because they can’t stomach the margins.

AARP’s Leigh Purvis warned it could mean higher prescription costs and even more shortages. Which, let’s be real, is the exact opposite of Trump’s “cheap drugs for everyone” campaign shtick.

Even pharma’s favorite hype squad, PhRMA, had to break character: “Every dollar spent on tariffs is a dollar we can’t spend on American plants or cures.” Translation: “Please stop, Donnie, you’re tanking our stock options.”

Remember, this is only the trailer. Back in August, Trump teased tariffs as high as 250% on drugs. Yes, 250%. That would put your grandma’s heart pills in the same price bracket as Super Bowl tickets… and without another Coldplay halftime show (fingers crossed).

And the pharma move isn’t happening in isolation. “The Donald” also launched fresh investigations into imports of robotics, medical devices, masks, gloves, and syringes. Essentially, everything you need in a hospital.

Which brings us to the cat-and-mouse phase. Wall Street figures Big Pharma will just “wait Trump out” instead of tearing up their global supply chains… because building a drug plant in America is a lot tougher than cranking out another iPhone factory in Shenzhen (makes sense). In the meantime, companies are hoarding meds like Michael Saylor collecting Bitcoin.

It’ll be interesting to see if tariffs really do bring jobs back, lower drug prices, and Make Pharma Great Again… or if it all backfires into one giant PR disaster that makes Trump & Co. look like they slept through Econ 101.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Johnson & Johnson as mentioned in the article.