Tim Apple woke up yesterday and really said, “what if we repackage 2022 but charge you more for it?”

The much-hyped “Awe dropping” event turned out to be less awe and more drop… mostly of your bank account balance if you’re the type of masochist who lines up at the Apple Store for incremental upgrades. The headliners: iPhone 17, iPhone 17 Pro/Max, and the all-new iPhone Air, which is basically Apple’s way of saying “size matters… but not in the way you think.” 

(Source: Giphy) 

As for the 17 itself, the company Foxconn built boasts a bigger screen (6.3”), 120Hz display (welcome to 2019), and a slightly better camera. It now starts at $799… but hey, base storage is 256GB, so Apple can pretend it’s a bargain. The Pro ditched titanium for aluminum, which is either a bold design choice or Cook finding new ways to cut margins while hiking the price to $1,099. And the Pro Max? A kidney, plus tax.

(Source: Barrons) 

Then came the Air, which was supposed to be the “wow moment. Apple's thinnest iPhone ever is now at 5.6 mm and priced at $999. Colors include: black, white, sky blue, and light gold. Essentially it’s the slimfast of Apple’s inventory… thinner, shinier, still overpriced, but Instagrammable enough to keep the cult happy. Oh, and because Apple can’t resist milking the accessory cows, we also got Apple Watch Series 11, Ultra 3, and SE 3. The Ultra 3 now has satellite connectivity and blood pressure monitoring… a.k.a., nothing like having the luxury of being told your arteries are clogged while you’re on a job. 

Meanwhile, the AirPods Pro 3 arrived too, complete with live translation. Bigly. So where’s the actual story for investors? Well it’s not really the tech. Instead, its the fact that Apple still prints margins by selling “meh” as “must-have.” Despite falling iPhone unit growth, average selling prices keep rising because Apple has convinced the world that $1,200 rectangles are essential. Services revenue (App Store, Apple TV+, iCloud) now props up the balance sheet, but the hardware launch cycle still drives the narrative… and Cook knows it.

(Source: Giphy) 

Meaning, while the Fed could nuke rates and China could block exports… people will still finance $1,099 Pro Maxes over 36 months because brand gravity is undefeated. Investors may have yawned at the lack of breakthrough innovation, but the moat here isn’t tech…consumer psychology. 

Case in point: Every September, Apple proves two things: (1) its marketing machine is still God-tier, and (2) regardless of what the share price reflects, Apple will never go broke charging $100 more for the same rectangle in lavender. Translation: As I said, that my friends… is what we call a “moat”. Until next time, friends… 

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Apple as mentioned in the article.