“I’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch… the whole year actually...” -Tim Cook right before blowing our socks off

I’ve got to say, if last year was Apple’s rough patch, most companies would like to formally request a lifetime subscription.

Anyways, as expected, the top-G smartphone maker is officially back from the dead (again) after posting one of the most unhinged iPhone quarters in human history.

The iPhone (yes, that allegedly mature product that’s been pronounced dead every other earnings cycle) rang up a record $85.3B in revenue. For context, that’s up 23% YoY, and a big  middle finger to the $78B Wall Street had penciled in.

According to Cook, demand was “staggering.” Translation: please stop pretending you didn’t doubt us.

And get this… EPS actually came in at $2.84 vs. $2.67 expected while total revenue hit $143.8B. Which pretty much means that Apple showed up late to the estimates meeting and still won.

But what about CHI-NA, you ask? The thing that’s been the biggest thorn in Timmy’s side since Trump had that wild idea? Sales actually jumped 38%,  putting a pretty clean end to that debate.

(Source: Yahoo Finance)

So naturally, the stock ripped higher… right? Welp, not so fast… Shares barely moved in aftermarket and even drooped a bit Friday, because Apple is now suffering from the worst problem imaginable: things are going too well (said no one ever).

It turns out, demand isn’t the issue this go around. Supply is. Specifically, memory chips. The AI data-center arms race has turned RAM into tech’s hottest commodity, and Apple admitted those rising component costs are about to start chewing at margins. Gross margin came in at 48%, and management more or less said, enjoy it while Nvidia is still hoarding silicon.

Translation: Wall Street heard “record iPhone sales” and responded with, “Cool. What’s DRAM doing next quarter?”

And then there’s the AI subplot.

Earlier this month, Apple went shopping and dropped a reported $2B on Israeli startup Q.ai… a company working on AI that can read whispered speech and micro facial movements. Officially, it’s about “non-verbal communication.” Unofficially, Siri just learned how to tell when you’re disappointed she still can’t set a timer without attitude.

It’s Apple’s second-largest acquisition ever, which is funny when you zoom out. Microsoft and friends are out here pushing all their AI chips to the middle of the table. While Apple is playing the claw game in the arcade room.

To really tie it together, Apple also confirmed it’ll lean on Google’s Gemini models for Apple Intelligence… a gentle reminder that while Samsung is already shipping AI-stuffed phones, Apple is still highlighting words in yellow and calling it a feature (and still wiping the floor with them).

(Source: The Shortcut)

None of this means Apple is cooked (no pun intended). Not even close. The company now has 2.5 billion active devices, which is basically a license to print services revenue forever. Services hit $30B, right on target, and China’s comeback alone had analysts quietly deleting old bearish slides.

But this quarter delivered the most Apple outcome imaginable: Record iPhone demand. Strong earnings. AI progress… kinda. And somehow the stock still decided to go nowhere.

Because in 2026, as we’ve seen with all of big tech earnings this week… great isn’t good enough.

Wall Street wants miracles. Apple delivered an A+. And the market still asked, “Yeah, but what about margins?”

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Apple, Microsoft, and Google as mentioned in the article.