Tim Apple Outsources Siri’s “Botched” Episode to Google (OpenAI Punches Air)

Apple just told OpenAI “don’t wait up.”

Google is once again on the savage train as Sundar & Co. walked into Cupertino, took the keys, and left with Siri. Again. In case you missed it, Apple announced it’s jumping on the bones via Gemini models and cloud tech to power its Foundation Models. Meaning, Siri’s long-promised episode of “Botched” is well underway, and Google has the medicine to make it better. 

(Source: Giphy) 

Friendly reminder: Google already cuts Apple a massive check to be the default search engine on iPhones. Now it’s search and brains. Same landlord, new room. Naturally, Apple framed it like a merit-based decision built on careful evaluation, best-in-class technology, and innovative experiences… the whole script. Translation: Gemini works, ships, and doesn’t embarrass ole Tim Apple on stage. That said, yes… this technically “doesn’t change” Apple’s existing ChatGPT integration. That’s what they said out loud. What they didn’t say is which model Siri will actually lean on when things get interesting. If you’re OpenAI, this is the part where you stop smiling in the group photo.

(Source: CNBC) 

For instance, Apple was supposed to be the prestige win. The consumer distribution crown jewel. The proof that ChatGPT wasn’t just a web toy stapled to enterprise licenses. Now Apple’s core AI stack is Google-built, Google-run, Google-approved. 

“ChatGPT? Never heard of her” - Tim Apple, probably. This alone had Google stock popping bottles, as Alphabet quietly joined the $4 trillion club, sliding into the booth with Nvidia, Microsoft, and Apple. Additionally,  Apple still insists everything will run “on device” and on its “private cloud compute.” Sure. But the foundation is Google’s. Apple’s building the house. Google poured the concrete. And honestly, it’s the best move for them. Apple spent the last two years running ads for AI features it quietly delayed until 2026. Meanwhile, it just outsourced the hard part to the company regulators keep trying to kneecap… all while OpenAI is still burning cash and still dependent on partners who keep shopping around.

(source: Giphy) 

So does this kill ChatGPT on the iPhone? No, it does something worse… it makes it optional. #brutal. In the end, Google has once again stolen OpenAI’s lunch money while Apple just ordered the same thing it always does: whatever works, delivered on time, with someone else holding the risk. Translation: This is just another day of snappin’ necks and chasin’ checks in corporate America friends. Until next time… 

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Microsoft, Alphabet (Google), and Apple