Elizabeth Holmes just did her first interview from prison, and shocker, (like more fraudsters) she’s not exactly singing a redemption song. The disgraced Theranos founder, who once convinced Silicon Valley that a drop of blood could unlock a medical revolution, is still maintaining her innocence while sketching out patents from behind bars. Because if at first you defraud investors out of hundreds of millions, try, try again?

For those who have somehow avoided the Hulu series, HBO documentary, countless books, or a decade of headlines, Holmes was once hailed as the next Steve Jobs. She promised that her company, Theranos, had developed technology that could perform hundreds of blood tests with a single drop. This was revolutionary, game-changing… except, you know, entirely fake.

The Wall Street Journal exposed Theranos in 2015, the SEC charged Holmes in 2018, and by 2022, she was convicted of fraud and sentenced to more than 11 years in federal prison. Here we are three years later, and she’s giving interviews like a misunderstood tech visionary instead of a woman who put patients at risk with bogus test results. “Failure is not fraud,” she insists. Right. And Sam Bankman Fried only cared about the technology.

Since reporting to Federal Prison Camp Bryan in Texas, Holmes has largely stayed out of the public eye… until now. In a recent interview, she described her time in prison as "hell and torture." (Can’t imagine why! It's almost like fraud has consequences.) But she’s also been busy. Apparently, she’s still dreaming up new healthcare solutions and writing patents (not sure how that’s possible but whatever you say Liz).

“There is not a day I have not continued to work on my research and inventions,” Holmes said. Notably, she didn’t elaborate on what she’s inventing, but one has to wonder: Another magic blood-testing device? A new type of turtleneck that exudes innocence?

(Source: The Independent)

In a twist no one saw coming, Holmes also revealed that she’s drafting legislation to reform the criminal justice system. It’s unbelievable, the woman who spent years dodging accountability and allegedly manipulating employees, investors, and the media now wants to be the voice of fairness in the legal system.

She’s calling her proposal the “American Freedom Act,” a seven-page handwritten document (because, of course, it had to be handwritten). Apparently, her goal is to “bolster the presumption of innocence” in the legal system. Coming from someone who maintains she’s the real victim here, this feels less like activism and more like a personal rebrand.

Even with her conviction, Holmes seems convinced she’ll return to the tech world post-prison. She’s still talking about making “affordable healthcare solutions available to everyone” and appears confident that investors will welcome her back with open arms (I guess crazier things have happened).

While Silicon Valley loves a comeback story (just ask Travis Kalanick, who got booted from Uber but still managed to raise hundreds of millions for his new ghost kitchen venture), investing in Holmes might be a tougher sell. Unlike other fallen entrepreneurs who just burned investor cash, she was convicted of directly misleading investors, regulators, and… most disturbingly… patients who relied on Theranos’ flawed technology.

But if history has taught us anything, it’s that rich people love a redemption arc. Maybe she’ll land a Netflix docuseries, or better yet, a podcast called "The Theranos Tapes." Let’s just hope investors aren’t naive enough to fall for her next con.

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