Anyone hoping for a chill Friday on Wall Street got a reminder: the only thing that dips harder than the market these days is morale. The S&P 500 logged its third straight losing session in a row with a -0.22% dip, while the Nasdaq followed suit with a -0.51% face plant. The Dow however, was the old dog with somewhat new tricks as the index barely squeaked out of the red to close +0.08% (a whole 35 points). 

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And yet, nobody expected the “bleh” ending of the week at the opening bell. Traders spent the morning clinging to a sliver of hope after Fed Governor Waller said a rate cut could land as early as July. Naturally, the S&P popped on the hope… briefly, before everyone remembered that the Fed’s “maybes” are about as reliable as a used Kia’s check engine light. By lunchtime, the mood was back to “Powell isn’t cutting until Trump personally waterboards him on stage at Jackson Hole.”

Speaking of, Trump was back on his old hobby: publicly roasting Jerome Powell for fun. Powell is costing the country “hundreds of billions,” according to Donny Politics. Add in the fact, that Israel and Iran are hovering over the “let's start WWIII” button, and you definitely had a political sh*tstorm on all levels this Friday. If you can listen closely, you can practically hear the gold bugs (and every boomer who thinks Jim Rickards is the second coming of Christ) salivating across the room. 

(Source: Youtube) 

As for chip stocks, they got cooked after The Wall Street Journal floated the idea that the U.S. might yank waivers for some semiconductor players. Nvidia and TSMC both took a -1% and -2% bath, all while the VanEck Semiconductor ETF limped along for the ride (down -1%).  Oh, and Meta and Alphabet both got dunked on as well (down -2% and -3%, respectively.) 

But, but, but…  thank Gawd Big Tech didn’t get the Accenture happy ending today. The consulting giant got smoked (-7%) after beating both top and bottom line estimates but completely whiffed on bookings, reminding everyone that “reinventing yourself with AI” doesn’t actually print contracts. 

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As for the breakout this week, Take-Two Interactive (a.k.a. Your GTA drug dealer), Darden Restaurants, Cardinal Health, Jabil, and Microsoft all hit all-time highs, presumably because they’re the only companies left not relying on discounted cash flows or good news from the Middle East. If you’re invested in Molson Coors or Constellation Brands, I hope you like drinking your feelings… both hit fresh 52-week lows. 

On the crypto/degenerate front, Circle mooned once again (+18%) after the Senate approved the Genius Act for stablecoin regulation. Coinbase was right behind with a 3% uptick, counting its USDC interest money and practicing its “we love regulation” face for the House hearings. Elsewhere, GXO Logistics moonshot 11% after raising guidance and tossing a new CEO into the Thunderdome. CarMax actually beat earnings (up +6%), proving someone, somewhere is still buying used cars at 8% APR. And GMS got dragged into a bidding war between QXO and Home Depot, which is the most excitement drywall has ever caused in human history.

Live look at GMS investors right now… 

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Bottom line… we had another week, and another round of Fed roulette, geopolitical ulcer’s, and traders desperately trying to decide whether they are moving on greed, or moving on absolute fear. Meaning, if you made money this week, congrats… you’re one of the few. As for next week, we’ll see what other chaos comes our way, but until then… enjoy the weekend, friends. 

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Microsoft, Meta, Alphabet, and Take-Two Interactive as mentioned in the article.