The S&P 500 just dragged itself into the green for the year, and Wall Street is acting like it just discovered fire. For good reason. 

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After getting body-slammed by Trump’s tariff rollout earlier this spring, the index has now bounced more than 21% off its April 7 intraday low. Meaning, we’ve officially experienced a full-one market whiplash in less than three weeks… powered by the kind of relief rally that only happens when a pissing match between China and the U.S. stops actively punching the economy in the face.

As far as today though, the S&P 500 tacked on a modest 0.10% to close at 5,892.58. Not exactly a mooning session, but we are in the green. Meanwhile, the Nasdaq is doing what the Nasdaq does best… ripping. It climbed 0.72% to finish at 19,146.81, presumably off the backs of AMD and Nvidia’s bigly $10bln Humain deal. The Dow, on the other hand, was down 89 points. But it’s the boomer index… so we’ll let it nap for now. 

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Piggybacking off the bigly big tech news, Nvidia gained more than 4% on news it’s shipping 18,000 of its AI meat grinders to Saudi Arabia. AMD also jumped 4% after announcing a $6 billion buyback, all while actively getting in bed with Nvidia and Humain. 

Additionally, Super Micro decided gravity was optional today, as it gained another 17% (it pounced 16% yesterday), because Raymond James analyst said AI is a “long-term secular driver”. Generic? Yes. Lucrative for investors? Apparently, so. 

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Oh, and eToro also made its Nasdaq debut today. Robinhoods foreign, and less unhinged brother, opened at $69.69 (Define starting off with a bang, amirite?), spiked past $72 within minutes, and was up 27% from its IPO price of $52 by the time anyone even figured out eToro was indeed not Toro, a.k.a. the lawn mower company. Heck, even nuclear startup Oklo got in on the action. Shares popped 16% after the company posted a loss of 7 cents per share… better than the 11 cents analysts expected. 

In the end, the S&P 500 is now officially positive for the year. That sentence would’ve gotten you laughed out of a room two weeks ago. The Nasdaq is up 6% just this week. The Dow is up nearly 2%, despite dragging its feet like it’s still waiting for a fax from 1997. And yet, the dollar is under pressure. Because if the market’s going to rip, the dollars gotta take the L. 

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Meanwhile, President Trump is busy shaking hands and signing AI deals across the Middle East, while quietly torching whatever was left of the Biden-era rulebook on tech exports. Bigly. So yeah, here we are. All is looking up so far on the macroeconomic lens…for now. Meaning, keep your head on the swivel and place your bets accordingly, friends. Until next time… 

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

P.S. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you liked getting rekt. Let’s face it, retail investors get the short end of the stick all day everyday. It’s the smart money’s world, and we are just living in it–only useful when it comes to liquidity purposes in the market. Meaning, if you’re as pissed off as I was when I found out Milli Vanilli was lip syncing the whole time, then it’s time to go from investing blind, to investing smart. Luckily for you, the key is right here as a Stocks.News premium member. Click here to see exactly how our premium members are printing while others quake in the face of today’s market chaos. 

Stocks.News holds positions in Robinhood as mentioned in the article.