The S&P 500 finally took its finger off the trigger after a nine-day rampage through the markets, ending the streak with a 0.64% drop Monday. Call it a hangover, call it reality slapping the bull in the face, but the market blinked–not because of earnings, not because of inflation, but because the words “tariff uncertainty” slithered back into the headlines like a sequel no one asked for.

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As for the Dow, it tanked 98 points… which if you were watching the markets today is actually a good thing, especially since it was down 250 points earlier in the day until someone remembered Berkshire Hathaway exists. The Nasdaq bled out 0.74%, mostly because tech stocks woke up and remembered they’re overvalued trash riding a hype cycle built on AI vapor and press releases. Apple dropped 3% for no reason other than being Apple. Nvidia, Tesla, Amazon—all down. But don’t worry, Microsoft and Meta eked out gains, so the fantasy isn’t dead yet. Just bleeding… slowly. 

ISM service data came in stronger than expected, which should be good news. It’s not. Because instead of celebrating, CEOs are now using the numbers to whine more about tariffs (as if they haven’t had enough excuses already). On the store front, Skechers is getting bought out by 3G Capital, and the stock exploded 25%. Love to see it, especially if you’re someone who makes lawn stripes and Saturday morning Home Depot runs your personality (a.k.a. me). 

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Meanwhile, Berkshire Hathaway finally got punched in the mouth after Warren Buffett, 94 years old and long overdue for a nap, said he’s stepping down as CEO. Shares dropped 4% because of it. Oh, and even while energy stocks have been getting dragged through the mud, Bank of America still decided to upgrade the sector to “overweight” because “dividends, baby.” That was the actual quote. Not “strong balance sheets” or “undervalued assets.” Just dividends. Because that’s all that matters now. No one cares about production. Just hand out the cash and shut up.

And last but not least, Tyson Foods, the very food keeping America’s kids from starving between breakfast and dinner, got obliterated, down 8%. Why? Well, apparently Americans are too broke to buy chicken now that’s why. Translation: Sales are bigly down. 

(Source: Giphy) 

In the end, tariffs “may be back”, Buffet is out, tech is still wobbling, and the so-called optimism that was duct-taping this rally last week may be starting to peel off. One headline at a time, that is. Meaning, do what you will with this information and place your bets accordingly, friends. We’ll see what tomorrow brings us. Until next time… 

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

P.S. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you liked getting rekt. Let’s face it, retail investors get the short end of the stick all day everyday. It’s the smart money’s world, and we are just living in it–only useful when it comes to liquidity purposes in the market. Meaning, if you’re as pissed off as I was when I found out Milli Vanilli was lip syncing the whole time, then it’s time to go from investing blind, to investing smart. Luckily for you, the key is right here as a Stocks.News premium member. Click here to see exactly how our premium members are printing while others quake in the face of today’s market chaos. 

Stocks.News holds positions in Apple, Meta, Microsoft, and Amazon as mentioned in the article.