Wall Street just wrapped up a five-day fistfight with reality, and it’s clear that most investors didn’t come out on top. Sure, the index clawed back 0.55% on Friday, closing at 5,770.20, but still, this was s worst week since September, dropping a brutal 3.1%, with the Nasdaq down 3.5% and the Dow sliding 2.4%. (NOTE: The Nasdaq officially hit correction territory, meaning it’s now 10% off its recent highs. Greeaat). 

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So what has investors sweating more than a hooker in Church? Oh the usual: A cocktail of trade policy shocks, an underwhelming jobs report, and the growing fear that the economy might be slipping into a recession. For instance, the February jobs report ended up being a major dud. The economy added 151,000 jobs, missing the 170,000 expected, while the unemployment rate ticked up to 4.1%. With that said though, Wall Street did experience a brief hopeful moment as Treasury yields dipped, but the overall reaction was more “meh” than “BTFD”. 

For Hewlett Packard though, it was an even worse day. Shareholders watch their stock tank nearly 13%---a.k.a. Its worst single-day drop since 2020. Why? Because Wall Street expected 50 cents per share in earnings, and HPE came in with a guidance of… 28 to 34 cents. Oh and they’re also getting their DOGE on as they plan to fire 2,500 poor souls… ooof. 

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Meanwhile, Costco slipped 6.1% after posting a weaker-than-expected profit. It turns out that even in an era where people are hoarding 48-packs of oat milk just in case, Costco still found a way to disappoint. And finally, there’s AppLovin, which is apparently too shady for the S&P 500. Short-seller Fuzzy Panda Research (that name puts my brain in a blender I tell ya) sent a letter begging the index committee not to include AppLovin, accusing the ad-tech firm of fraudulent business practices. Savage.

On the other hand, Broadcom had a monster day, jumping 8.6% thanks to strong earnings and an AI-fueled revenue forecast that had investors drooling. AI stocks—still the market’s golden child, despite everything else crumbling around them. Additionally, Walgreens Boots Alliance popped 7.5% after announcing it’s officially getting taken private by Sycamore Partners. Translation: Wall Street finally gets to stop pretending it cares about Walgreens’ stock price LOL.

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In the end, even after Friday’s rebound, the market is still skittish as hell. Investors are dodging landmines left and right, and with trade wars, weak economic data, and AI drama brewing, it’s clear that volatility isn’t going anywhere. Hopefully next week paints a different story, but that’s about as certain as Oklahoma weather. Why? Because Texas sucks and Kansas blows LOL (sorry, I just had too). All jokes aside, stay safe and stay frosty, friends! Until next time… 

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

P.S. $1.4 million, $1.02 million, and $6.715 million—these aren’t lottery winnings or Miami real estate prices… they’re all insider transactions that have gone down in the last week while retail investors were busy panic-selling everything. Want to track these corporate fat cats in real-time so you can pretend you're also an executive with material nonpublic information? (Legally, of course.) Click here to join Stocks.News premium while you still can…

Stocks.News does not hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.