It pays to be ADHD… 

Tesla doesn’t have a growth strategy. It has Elon. So when a Delaware court voided his old $50 billion comp package, the board did what any stockholm syndrome’d board would do… they built him another one. This time it’s 96 million shares, valued at $23.7 billion. Why? To entice Elon to stay. 

(Source: Giphy) 

The crazier part is that the board requested no new performance metrics, no delivery targets… just a “don’t leave” plea. Additionally, the award gives Musk more voting power… a.k.a, something he and the board claim is “key to focus,” though it’s hard to tell whether that means he’ll launch more EVs or just fewer memes. Either way, Tesla’s back to buying attention from the one guy who can still move the stock.

(Source: Wall Street Journal) 

Understandably, the reasoning is simple: Tesla is, bluntly, in limbo. Sales are falling. The product lineup hasn’t materially evolved since the Trump administration’s first run. The Cybertruck is a $100,000 metal joke. EV subsidies are shrinking. And legacy OEMs are finally showing up to the fight with real volume. Tesla, in contrast, hasn’t launched a meaningful new vehicle since before Covid. Meanwhile, Elon’s interest has drifted toward humanoid robots, robotaxis, and giving us all Elon vs. Trump Celebrity Cage-Match entertainment. Which obviously has brand loyalty unraveling. Fun fact: Someone in my neighborhood just sold their Tesla so he wouldn’t be seen as someone who… *checks notes*... supports Elon Musk. Sounds legit. 

And yet, at the time of this writing, the only real moat that Tesla has left is inertia and mythology… both of which require Elon to stick around and look like he still cares. With that said, if the court ends up reinstating the old $50B comp package, this new one goes away. But if the appeal fails, Tesla needs a leash on Musk before he walks off with his 14 kids. 

(Source: Reddit) 

For more context, on the plan, there’s no vesting unless Musk stays.Shares are locked up for five years. And even though it’s technically just a grant, Musk will need to pay ~$23/share to exercise them, echoing the structure of the original 2018 deal.Whether or not this “retention bonus” works is anyone’s guess. Elon is already the largest shareholder. He doesn’t need more control to take control. But Tesla’s board… again, possibly the most Stockhold-syndromed in corporate history… seems to believe the one thing standing between them and a full Apple-style collapse is keeping Musk amused.

To be fair, they aren’t entirely wrong. . In the AI future Elon dreams of, Tesla isn’t a car company. It’s a fleet-based software and robotics platform masquerading as an automaker until the world catches up. And if you believe that, then 96 million shares is a down payment… not a reward. So yeah, that’s the play and investors don’t seem to be amused as shares are down -0.38% today. For now, though we’ll see if more details come out on the matter… but rest assured, it pays to be a genius with ADHD. Now we’ll see how focused Elon gets now. Until next time, friends… 

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Tesla and Apple as mentioned in the article.