Starbucks Workers United officially woke up this morning, stretched, downed a lukewarm Pike Place, and decided Brian Niccol wasn’t allowed to have a peaceful holiday weekend.

The union has escalated its indefinite strike to over 120 stores in 85 cities, marking what they promise will be the longest, pettiest, caffeine-fueled standoff in Starbucks history. And of course they timed it for Black Friday, the national holiday where Americans willingly body-check each other for discounted toasters. If there was ever a day Starbucks wanted its baristas inside, smiling, and pumping out peppermint mochas like Henry Ford’s assembly line… it’s Black Friday.

Instead, the workers are outside chanting, marching, and waving signs like that Simpsons episode where the entire town protests the bear patrol tax. Michelle Eisen, the union’s loudest voice during this entire mess, told corporate to quit stalling… aka, “Brian, close Slack and face the music.”

Brian Niccoll and the C-Suite don’t seem too worried. The company has more than 17,000 U.S. locations and claims that 99% of them remain open… basically saying, “Cute strike, though.” A spokesperson even added that Starbucks doesn’t expect any “meaningful disruption,” which is the gentlest possible way of saying, “Thanks for the heads-up, but we’re good.” 

And honestly, they might not be bluffing. Last year on Red Cup Day, when the union tried to rattle the machine, foot traffic shot up over 40%. I guess nothing motivates customers quite like a good protest line.

Still, the baristas aren’t striking for fun. They’re pushing for higher wages, better staffing, more stable scheduling, and for the company to finally deal with the hundreds of unfair labor practice charges linked to union busting. Unfortunately, for those in strike… the discussions haven’t gone anywhere, unless you count looping back to the same arguments over and over. Mediation in February went nowhere, Starbucks’ April proposal promising at least 2% annual raises got bounced, and both sides have been pointing fingers ever since.

Workers United now represents over 11,000 baristas across about 550 stores, and they’ve made a tradition of using Starbucks’ holiday season as their personal pressure cooker. Red Cup Rebellions. Walkouts. Five-day strikes. If Starbucks tries to spread cheer, the union shows up like the Grinch.

Meanwhile, this Black Friday is serving up labor problems far beyond Starbucks’ front door. Amazon warehouse workers in Germany walked out. Zara stores in Spain are getting hit with protests. Needless to say, if you’re a major retailer today and you didn’t get picketed, you should probably expect a follow-up email titled “Monday.”

For now, Starbucks is doing that thing big companies love to do… pretending everything is fine while quietly freaking out behind the scenes. The baristas are digging in for what might be the longest fight in company history, and Brian Niccol is somewhere whispering to himself, “Quesadillas never gave me this much trouble.”

But unlike the last few walkouts, this crew isn’t flinching. Niccol’s actually going to have to work for his salary this time. And sure, Wall Street hasn’t noticed yet (the stock’s still up 1% this month) but that patience has an expiration date.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Starbucks, Ford, and Amazon as mentioned in the article.