“Look at me, I’m the captain now…”

That’s basically what Larry Ellison just told Jensen Huang after teaming up with Lisa Su (+1%) and her band of silicon sorcerers over at AMD. Together, they announced 50,000 AMD AI chips will soon be lighting up Oracle’s (-3%) cloud data centers… and that sound you hear? That’s Nvidia’s (-4%) executive team choking on their stock options.

This comes after Larry’s been wiring Jensen billions for years just to rent GPUs like some desperate Airbnb guest of the AI economy. Now he’s had enough. He’s building his own GPU empire with AMD… because in Larry’s world, if your landlord won’t stop jacking the rent, you buy another yacht the building, rename it “Ellison Tower,” and install a koi pond on the roof.

The new Instinct MI450 chips are engineered to train and run massive AI models faster (and maybe cheaper) than Jensen’s gold-plated GPUs. Oracle calls it “a major expansion.” Everyone else calls it “a midlife crisis with a semiconductor budget.” Either way, it’s Ellison’s biggest hardware swing yet… a full chest-thumping, “we’re done being your b*tch” moment in the AI arms race.

Normally this kind of news would follow with an “ATH” kinda headline… but Wall Street reacted like it just got hit with a pop quiz. The Dow tiptoed up 0.5%, the S&P 500 barely moved (+0.1%), and the Nasdaq shat the bed (-0.2%). Between the Oracle/AMD announcement and Trump and China’s “it’s complicated” trade saga, no one was exactly thrilled to keep the rally going.

Then Jerome Powell strolled on stage at the NABE conference and sucked the remaining life out of the room. He said inflation and employment “haven’t changed,” which roughly translates to “we might cut rates, but don’t hold your breath.” Which probably triggered a million new ChatGPT prompts titled: “When does Jerome Powell get fired?”

And while the U.S. tried to play chill, China decided to turn the trade war thermostat back to Fort Lauderdale in mid July hot. Beijing smacked sanctions on five U.S.-linked units of South Korean shipbuilder Hanwha Ocean and started charging new port fees on American vessels. Washington returned fire with its own fees… because “strategery” in Trump’s world means “copy and paste sanctions.”

Meanwhile, Jamie F’ing Dimon did what he does best… cries wolf and then profits off all the sheep. JPMorgan clocked its best third quarter ever ($47.1B in revenue (up 9%), $14.4B in profit (up 12%), and $8.9B in trading revenue… but the stock still fell 1%.

Goldman Sachs also posted a $3.5B in profit (up 12%) and its best dealmaking quarter in years. But the stock fell (-0.9%). Rumor has it investors wanted David Solomon to throw in a DJ set in the guidance.

Over in AI fantasyland, OpenAI and Sammie boy got hit with quite the truth bomb. Citi analysts estimate that OpenAI’s recent GPU and data center deals will cost over $1 trillion by 2030. Between contracts with Nvidia, AMD, Broadcom, Oracle, and CoreWeave, Sam Altman’s building what can only be described as the world’s first sentient power plant. Revenue’s expected to grow from $12.5 billion in 2025 to $163 billion by 2030… assuming the electric grid doesn’t file for bankruptcy first.

Speaking of OpenAI, Walmart jumped 3% after announcing a partnership to launch a ChatGPT-powered shopping assistant… which, hopefully, can find Dawn dish soap in aisle 4 faster than it can locate the year the U.S. was founded.

And according to the cold, cruel data, no one’s more down bad than Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos… That’s right, Amazon has officially taken the “least magnificent” trophy… down 3.5% over the past three months, even worse than Meta’s -1%. Meanwhile, Alphabet (+35.6%), Tesla (+35%), and Apple (+18.5%) are having quite the resurgence. RIP to all those who sold their Apple shares because “Tim Cook is late to the AI game.” 

And for our Stock Prophet Watchlist, today wasn’t quite as wild (in a good way) as yesterday… but we still showed up big.

JDZG popped +15% after our alert at 7:06am, UGRO ripped +60% following our 8:07am ping, and our biggest win came from a multiday runner we called out yesterday morning… STI is now up 228% in just two days.

Not bad for a “slower” day.

Remember, these alerts are 100% free on the Stocks.News app. See you bright and early tomorrow morning.

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Amazon, Meta, Google, Tesla and Apple as mentioned in the article.