You know when your significant other says they’ll be “ready” in five minutes, but still hasn’t showered yet? Yeah, Intel is officially that person. In short, the embattled chip giant announced Friday that its $28 billion Ohio semiconductor plant—the one that was supposed to kick off by 2026—won't see the light of day until at least 2030. Maybe 2031. Probably-ish... 

(Source: Giphy) 

Translation: That’s at least five or six years behind schedule. Which, to be fair, is pretty fitting for a company that's been about five or six years behind the competition since forever.

In short, Intel's VP of Global Ops, Naga Chandrasekaran, went full-send on the promises that they’re "aligning production with market demand" and "managing capital responsibly." But in reality, we all know what that really means: They’re still hemorrhaging cash and need to pump the brakes before they actually do the deed and send themselves into bankruptcy court. 

(Source: CNBC) 

And honestly, it could be a very real possibility for them. Intel lost 60% of its market value last year alone, mostly because it completely whiffed on the AI boom. And while Nvidia was printing money faster than J-Pow during peak COVID stimulus, Intel was busy holding strategy meetings about strategy meetings.

Not to mention the fact that after clocking its worst one-day drop in 50 years back in August—Intel management followed up by cutting 15% of the workforce. So yeah, definitely not reassuring when it comes to Intels runway. Which is why looking a bit deeper, the irony is thiccer than a Texas Roadhouse roll. As we all know, Biden and company threw nearly $8 billion at them through the CHIPS Act to help "bring semiconductor manufacturing back home”---all while Ohio alone dangled $300 million per factory—on the condition they finish by 2028.

(Source: The Dispatch) 

Now? Ohio is stuck in limbo filled with broken promises as Gov. Mike DeWine's spokesman Dan Tierney called the delay a bigly "disappointment.” But, but, but… to be fair, Intel hasn’t completely ghosted Ohio. Over $3.7 billion has already been poured into construction since 2022. More than 200,000 cubic yards of concrete are already on site—enough to pave over Intel's annual earnings reports for the next decade.

However, Intel did promise up to 7,000 construction jobs. And now? Hard to say. Columbus-area labor reps sounded cautiously optimistic, essentially saying they'll be ready to ramp up whenever Intel decides to "step on the gas." But again, that’s officially years away. Meanwhile, Intel has already started hiring and training Ohioans at current plants in Arizona, New Mexico, and Oregon. They're even funding over $17 million in workforce programs at local colleges. Which apparently is just cheap enough in their budget to do. 

(Source: Giphy) 

So in the end, what’s the bottom line here? Well, if you’re an Intel investor, delays aren't news—they're tradition. And this latest punt into the next decade is just another sign of the times that Intel's foundry ambitions are bleeding out. And even though Intel says the Ohio plant is still going to happen—someday—investors who’ve been holding out hope for more miracles just got bodied once again.

Meaning, it’s clear that everytime Intel announces something going forward, take it with a grain of salt. I’m sure this won’t be the last time Intel unintentionally rug pulls everyone on Wall Street. Of course, only time will tell on that, but in the meantime, do what you will with this information and place your bets accordingly. And most importantly? Stay safe and stay frosty! Until next time…

P.S. My buddy Jared is sharp as hell—probably one of the smartest guys I know. But when it comes to investing? An absolute clown. Why? Because he doesn’t grasp the one thing that separates winners from losers in the market: information. And not just any information—I’m talking about the kind of intel that Wall Street hoards like the FBI hoards Hunter Biden's laptop—because the second retail traders get their hands on it, their edge starts to disappear.

Moral of the story here? Don’t be a Jared. Get access to the real market-moving data, the stuff hidden behind paywalls and institutional gatekeeping by joining Stocks.News premium. At the end of the day, the market isn’t playing fair—so why should you? 

Stocks.News holds positions in Intel as mentioned in the article.