Mark Zuckerberg has been freaking out trying to change everyone’s opinion of him from "government lapdog" to a guy who goes archery hunting (although he has no idea who helped him learn or the brand of his bow). First, he hops on Joe Rogan’s podcast to spill tea about how the government pressured him to fact-check vaccine posts and shadow-ban “controversial” topics… turns out, a lot of those topics were true. Awkward. Then he announces Meta’s decision to abandon third-party fact-checkers altogether. Instead, they’re rolling out a “Community Notes” model. If it feels like a knockoff of Elon Musk’s X, that’s because it is. (Zuck’s greatest innovation is borrowing other people’s homework.)

And just when you thought Zuck was done surfing the media waves… Meta is cutting 5% of its workforce. That’s about 3,600 employees. Why? Because “2025 will be an intense year,” and Zuck wants the best of the best on his team. Low performers? Thanks for playing… don’t let the door hit you on the way out. In an internal memo, Zuckerberg explained the logic behind these layoffs. He said Meta traditionally gives low performers a year to shape up, but not this time. “We’re raising the bar on performance management,” Zuck declared.

Of course, this is just another round of Meta’s layoff roulette. Over the past two years, they’ve axed 21,000 jobs, leaving morale somewhere between “bleak” and “nonexistent.” Employees responded to the latest news with everything from shocked emojis to flat-out crying. (Special shoutout to the genius who sarcastically renamed 2025 the Year of Intensity. A true hero.) The timing is nothing but hilarious… By scrapping fact-checkers and restoring political content to the news feed, Zuck appears to be waving a giant olive branch at Donald Trump, the president-elect. (Though knowing Zuck, it’s probably an olive branch rendered in VR.) After years of taking heat from conservatives for alleged censorship, this sudden pivot to “free expression” feels as subtle as a MAGA rally in a Whole Foods. So, if your Facebook feed starts flooding with Trump NFTs and ads for gold-plated flamethrowers, you’ll know why.

While Zuckerberg frames these changes as steps toward a stronger, more focused Meta, the company is walking a tightrope. On one side, it’s working to repair its image by embracing “free speech” and simplifying policies. On the other, it’s slashing jobs and dismantling diversity programs… moves that could alienate its workforce and users alike. But hey, at least Zuck is optimistic. “Letting people go is never easy,” he said in his memo (with his lizard voice). “But I’m confident this will strengthen our teams and help us build leading technology to enable the future of human connection.” Sure, Mark. Just let us know if that “connection” includes fewer shadow bans and more transparency. Oh, and maybe give those laid-off employees a Meta Quest VR headset as a parting gift. They’ll need something to do while job hunting.

Meta’s stock has climbed an impressive 61% over the past year, but the last five days tell a different story… it’s down 5%. Investors don’t seem thrilled about the layoff headlines or the possibility of Elon Musk swooping in to buy TikTok.

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