If you think your friend who won't stop tweeting Elon is obsessed, wait until you hear about John Hering. This guy didn’t just drink the Elon Musk Kool-Aid—he’s got a Joe Goldberg from You obsession with the Tesla founder. 

Hering, a cybersecurity whiz turned venture capitalist, has spent billions—yes, billions—trying to worm his way into Musk’s inner circle. And even after years of relentless dedication, he’s still waiting for his official invite to the Musk family Thanksgiving.

Hering’s career kicked off with one of the weirdest stunts you’ll hear about—he hacked the cell phones of celebrities at the 2005 Academy Awards to expose security flaws. Yeah, seriously. He made a name for himself by scanning Brad Pitt’s flip phone. The stunt worked, and his startup Lookout took off. But after that business sputtered out, he set his sights on a bigger target: the tech world’s own Zeus, Elon Musk.

Now, most people would maybe buy a Tesla or throw some stock into SpaceX to show their support. But not Hering. He went all-in, pouring over $4 billion of his firm Vy Capital’s money into Musk’s ventures. SpaceX, The Boring Company, Twitter (or X, or whatever it's called this week)—you name it, Hering’s got his cash in it. 

In fact, over half of Vy Capital’s $8 billion is tied up in Musk’s companies. You could say he’s betting the farm. Or, in Hering's case, his Newport Beach mansion.

(Source: The Economic Times)

So, how does a guy like Hering get close to Elon? Apparently, by being available at all times like the world’s richest Uber driver. Whether it’s a last-minute flight to fix a problem at The Boring Company or troubleshooting Starlink, Hering is on-call, 24/7. 

Shaun Maguire, a Sequoia partner who shares an office with him, says Hering’s basically flying to Musk’s rescue every other day. Forget vacation—Hering’s spending his time jet-setting to help Elon keep his empire from crashing and burning.

(Source: CNBC)

Oh, and let’s not forget the $700 million Hering threw down to help Musk fund his Twitter takeover. And how did that turn out? Well, X’s valuation plummeted from $44 billion to $19 billion, with Vy Capital taking a nice little $400 million hit. That's gotta sting, even for a billionaire. And let’s remember, it’s not Hering’s personal money he’s risking—it’s his clients’ cash he’s throwing into the Musk abyss.

Despite all this—Hering’s constant flying, throwing billions at Musk’s projects, even helping with recruiting efforts—he’s still not sitting on any Musk company boards. Nope, not even a little advisory role. But hey, it’s not all bad. He did score an invite to Musk’s wedding in Venice last year and even hit the slopes on a family ski trip with Kimbal Musk and the cousins. That’s got to count for something, right?

In the end, Hering might just be the ultimate case study in how not to play it cool when it comes to Elon Musk. Sure, he’s rich, connected, and probably gets to stand in the same room as Elon on the regular. But after billions invested and a whole lot of effort, he’s still waiting for that elusive inner-circle pass. Maybe next Thanksgiving, John.

P.S. While Elon’s fanboy keeps glazing Musk and dropping billions trying to score a seat at the big table, our last Stocks.News alert rocketed 162% in under 24 hours. And trust me, this next one has potential to pop off even harder—click here to get the inside scoop.

Stock.News has positions in Tesla and Uber.