The Snack Wrap was just foreplay… 

After four straight quarters of soul-searching, inflation-spiraling, and same-store-sales-flopping, McDonald’s has finally done what every stubborn ex eventually tries…started acting like the person you fell in love with in the first place. The burger giant reported a 3.8% increase in global same-store sales, with U.S. comps up 2.5%, giving Wall Street a warm McFlurry of dopamine after nearly a year of cold fries and colder charts.

(Source: Giphy) 

Shares jumped nearly 3% yesterday as McDonald’s blew past expectations with $3.19 in adjusted earnings per share (vs. $3.14 est.) and $6.8 billion in revenue, up 5% from last year. Net income also climbed 11%... presumably because once you stop gaslighting your customers and start serving actual value, the numbers tend to behave. For more context, the chain went full damage control this last quarter, rolling out a national $5 “McValue” meal to win back the broke and disillusioned (a.k.a. me). That, paired with the Minecraft Happy Meal and the resurrection of their tortilla-wrapped crispy chicken strips, gave just enough nostalgia and caloric comfort to rekindle the romance. Some locations even ran out of toppings… a sure sign of either wild success or broken logistics, but in this case, I call it demand, baby.

(Source: Wall Street Journal) 

But alas, imagine the suits at Ronald's penthouse when they figure out that not charging $17 for a quarter pounder meal is the secret to winning back America… but it’s in a wrap for every other chain still pushing $8 grilled cheese or fusion rice bowls to people living paycheck-to-paycheck. Case in point: Restaurants across the board are bleeding customer traffic. According to Black Box Intelligence, U.S. fast food foot traffic is down nearly 3% this year, with overall restaurant visits down 1.8%. But according to their latest report, McDonald’s isn’t most restaurants… It's the cockroach of consumer staples.

(Source: Giphy) 

It survived Super Size Me, a clown shortage, the snack wrap famine, and even E.Coli squirts. Now it’s positioning itself to ride the economic downturn by doing what it does best: being the cheapest option that doesn’t make you feel entirely dead inside. Plus, even as beef costs and labor expenses keep rising, McDonald’s resisted the urge to hike prices again. Thank Gawd. 

However, with that said, CEO Chris Kempczinski made sure to remind everyone that low-income consumers are still struggling, and that economic uncertainty remains a challenge. Translation: They are keeping the $5 deal going… until our rent check clears LOL. Internationally, Japan led the charge with strong marketing and menu innovation. And starting in September, McDonald’s will be rolling out a new line of cold beverages to appeal to Gen Z’s need to sip something every five seconds. If that doesn’t boost sales, they’ll probably just sponsor another Roblox rave or go the way of Dunkin’ Donuts (presumably with Ronald and the Gang talking about their good genes they get from eating low-grade dog food chicken nuggets.) 

(Source: Tenor)

In the end, McDonalds did something worth talking about last quarter. They saw the writing on the wall. When times get tough, people want cheap food fast… And if the clown is finally back on his value-driven hustle, that’s bad news for everyone else in the drive-thru lane. Meaning, keep your eyes on Mickey D’s as we head into this morning’s opening bell and place your bets accordingly. Until next time, friends… 

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in McDonalds as mentioned in the article.