Tuesday was one of those sessions where nothing technically collapsed, but the whole thing felt like a man with a blood clot in his calf saying, “It’s probably just sore.” Spoiler: It’s not. 

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The S&P 500 slid 0.49%. Nasdaq dropped 0.65%. The Dow limped down 62 points. Not exactly a meltdown by any means, but definitely not the kind of day you’d like after experiencing yesterday’s cheap thrills. And yet, the excuse for today’s price action was a rehash of soft economic data. Same weak labor market signals we’ve seen for months. Friday’s jobs report cracked the windshield. Tuesday just smeared it with bug residue. Which means it’s now abundantly clear: the economy isn’t falling apart, it’s just quietly decaying… “allegedly”. 

And then Trump jumped in with a fresh round of tariff chatter… this time aimed at semiconductors and pharmaceuticals.  “We want them made in the United States,” he told CNBC, and confirming what we already knew. Translation: this phase of decoupling isn’t just about China… it’s about re-engineering entire supply chains. The problem? Markets like stability. Donnie Politics like leverage. Something’s going to give. 

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Elsewhere, Palantir did what Palantir does: confuse people and print money. Shares jumped nearly 8% after the company crossed $1 billion in quarterly revenue for the first time. I guess when you build defense software and have a CEO that acts, looks, and invents like the real-life Doc Brown, you can get away with it. Investors still don’t know what Palantir actually does, but they do know it keeps showing up with a bag of cash and a fresh Pentagon signature. And that’s good enough, baby. Shares mooned +8% on the day. 

As for Coinbase, shares slipped -5% after selling $2 billion in convertible debt. Friendly, reminder that even in the age of tokenized degeneracy (see: Robinhood for context), real-world capital still costs something. On the flip side, DigitalOcean spiked 27% after strong earnings and raised guidance, proving that if you’re small and vaguely cloud-adjacent, the market will still throw you a bone. 

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In regards to the big names… mostly a Netflix and Chill kind of day. Nvidia, Broadcom, Microsoft, Meta… all slightly red. Amazon bounced 1%, probably out of guilt. Apple closed at -0.21%. Tesla is still trying to figure out what 96 million shares are going to get them (See: Elon’s bigly billions payday below). And Alphabet drifted a smidge (-0.22%). 

Hell, even Bitcoin couldn’t be bothered to move much. Down slightly to $113K, off from Monday night’s high. It’s still trying to decide if it’s a hedge against chaos or just another part of it. So what do you call a market where every asset class is stuck in first gear, every catalyst feels muted, and the next policy shift could come from either the Fed or Trump tariff grenade? We call it August. Meaning, place your bets accordingly and try not to blink. Until next time, friends… 

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Alphabet, Netflix, Apple, Amazon, Tesla, Meta, and Microsoft as mentioned in the article.