As if a blistering -3.42% plunge over the last five days wasn’t enough, Kroger has officially given its longtime Chairman and CEO, Rodney McMullen the “Richard Nixon” treatment. The grocery giant announced Monday that McMullen "resigned" after an internal investigation found his personal conduct was "inconsistent with the company's business ethics policy." 

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Translation: Rodney did something so sketchy that Kroger's board decided to immediately get rid of the waste while they could. Obviously, there are no specifics yet, but the company made it a point to clarify that whatever McMullen's been up to had nothing to do with Kroger's financial performance, operations, or other employees. Meaning he wasn’t cooking up the books—but he definitely was cooking up something else entirely. (Sooo, he’s on the Epstein list?)

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For more context, the board first caught a whiff of McMullen's questionable behavior on February 21 and immediately called in the hazmat suits—a.k.a. outside lawyers. Two weeks later, McMullen receives the “resign or else” notice. And now, taking McMullen's spot as interim CEO is Ronald Sargent, a Kroger board member since 2006 and former CEO of Staples (Well, that was easy). Sargent basically told investors "nothing to see here" and promised to keep the shelves stocked and the self-checkout machines malfunctioning at their regular pace while they hunt for a permanent replacement.

But, but, but… what makes this situation worse is that McMullen's fall is particularly dramatic considering he spent his entire 46-year career at Kroger—starting as a teenage bagger in '78 (wholesome) before climbing the corporate ladder to CFO in '95, COO in '09, and finally CEO in 2014. I guess loyalty rewards don’t pay off at Kroger.

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Plus, the timing is absolutely brutal. ICYMI, McMullen was already dealing with the spectacular implosion of Kroger's attempted $25 billion merger with Albertsons, which regulators torpedoed in December for being more anti-competitive than a youth soccer league with one helicopter parent as coach. The failed negotiations ended with Albertsons suing Kroger for allegedly half-assing its regulatory homework. Awkward doesn't even begin to cover it.

Naturally, Kroger shares immediately dropped -2.98% yesterday, as investors are understandably shook, while everyone else is refreshing their news feeds waiting to find out exactly what McMullen did to get blacklisted. But whatever he did, it’s definitely zesty, and we are all ears to get the tea. 

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In the meantime though, keep an eye on Kroger and the Sargent to see if they can turn this situation into a miracle turnaround. Only time will tell, but for now, stay safe and stay frosty, friends! Until next time… 

P.S. $1.4 million, $1.02 million, and $6.715 million—these aren’t lottery winnings or Miami real estate prices… they’re all insider transactions that have gone down in the last 48 hours while retail investors were busy panic-selling everything. Want to track these corporate fat cats in real-time so you can pretend you're also an executive with material nonpublic information? (Legally, of course.) Click here to join Stocks.News premium while you still can…

Stocks.News does not hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.