“I am the judge, jury, and executioner…” – Lip-Bu Tan, probably…

Lip-Bu Tan isn’t wasting any time as the King of Intel’s Iron Throne as he’s about to fire over 21,000 poor souls. That’s one in five employees, gone. Executed in broad daylight under the banner of “streamlining” and “rebuilding an engineering culture.” Translation: the company’s been bloated, slow, and bleeding out for years, and now it’s finally doing something about it—cutting the fat. 

(Source: Giphy) 

Keep in mind, this isn’t Intel’s first round of cuts either. They already axed 15,000 last August. But that wasn’t enough to stop the bleeding. The stock’s down 43% in the last year, 67% over the past five. They’ve been getting pantsed by Nvidia in public, missing the AI boom entirely, and turning what used to be a dominant chip empire into something that looks like a sad, has-been who reminds me of what Uncle Rico would be if he were a company. 

But now Lip-Bu Tan is at the helm, and he’s not here to play house. In fact, he didn’t even bother with the usual lingo on this kind of deal. No “we’re a family” nonsense and no “we regret these difficult decisions”. Just silence, and a guillotine in the background. 

(Source: Bloomberg) 

Of course, Tan’s not stupid. He knows Intel’s problems aren’t just about cost structure. This company lost the plot a long time ago. It’s been chasing relevance with the urgency of a coma patient. Everyone else is building the future: AI chips, custom silicon, high-efficiency data centers. And yet, Intel has quietly slipped into the role of playing catch up. Which is why Tan’s job isn’t to inspire. It’s to clean up the mess, sell off the stuff that doesn’t matter (see: Altera), and pray there’s something left to salvage when it’s over.

(Source: Tech Crunch) 

Speaking of selling stuff that doesn’t matter, Intel’s already sold a 51% stake in its programmable chip unit to Silver Lake. That’s private equity. That’s the kind of move you make when you need cash now and don’t care what strings come attached. Meanwhile, the Ohio mega-fab, Intel’s supposed Hail Mary play to regain manufacturing dominance, is basically in development hell. It was supposed to be the centerpiece of a CHIPS Act revival. But now that Trump’s back in charge and that program’s twisting in the wind, Intel’s once-in-a-generation subsidy bonanza is looking more like Spahn Ranch… abandoned. Not to mention the fact that TSMC just came out with the “Nah, I’m good” when asked about partnering up with Intel. Brutal. 

(Source: Giphy) 

So then, what’s left? A bloated legacy operation with decent IP, a ton of debt, an uncertain roadmap, and a new CEO promising that things will “take time.” And during that time, it will no doubt be ugly, painful, and slow. However, that’s if this turnaround does work. If it doesn’t? Well, could it be even worse than what Intel has given us over the past few years? No. 

For now, Tan the Reaper is making his rounds, and only time will tell if it works or not. In the meantime, keep an eye on more restructuring moves from Intel and place your bets accordingly. Until next time, friends… 

P.S. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you liked getting rekt. Let’s face it, retail investors get the short end of the stick all day everyday. It’s the smart money’s world, and we are just living in it–only useful when it comes to liquidity purposes in the market. Meaning, if you’re as pissed off as I was when I found out Milli Vanilli was lip syncing the whole time, then it’s time to go from investing blind, to investing smart. Luckily for you, the key is right here as a Stocks.News premium member. Click here to see exactly how our premium members are printing while others quake in the face of today’s market chaos. 

Stocks.News holds positions in Intel as mentioned in the article.