Bahhh Gawd that’s J-Poww’s music… 

Alright, let’s start with the only thing that mattered today: inflation blinked. November CPI finally showed up (fashionably late thanks to the shutdown), and it came in soft enough to give the market permission to stop spiraling. Headline CPI printed at 2.7%, core at 2.6%...both below expectations… and that was all the excuse needed for risk to push the “full-send” button. 

(Source: Imgflip) 

The S&P 500 snapped its four-day losing streak, up ~0.8%, the Nasdaq ripped 1.4% (thank Gawd), and the Dow tried its best to keep up with a 0.14% increase. 

That said, what really stole the show (especially after Oracle’s blue ball owl moment yesterday), Micron jumped roughly 10% after posting strong guidance that reminded everyone why memory matters when AI workloads go vertical. The read-through was clear: data center spending isn’t slowing, hyperscalers are still spending like Mike Tyson in his prime, and the whole “AI capex cliff” narrative can take a seat for now. 

(Source: CNBC) 

Naturally, that one print lit fire under the rest of the big kids table. Nvidia bounced 1.87%, Broadcom snagged 1.18%, AMD climbed around 1.49%, and Alphabet caught a 1.91% bid. Oh, and Super Micro joined the party for a bit only to be treated like a crime scene with a -1.58% plunge. 

Elsewhere, Target quietly extended its winning streak to eleven sessions, flirting with a record. Not exactly exciting dinner-table conversation, but notable given how allergic investors have been to consumer names. AI-driven shopping tools, holiday traffic, and expectations management are doing more work than people want to admit. Meanwhile, defense stocks drifted lower on reports the Trump administration is considering restrictions on buybacks and executive comp tied to federal contracts. Nothing dramatic yet… just enough uncertainty to keep wallets clenched for now. 

(Source: Giphy) 

So with that, where does that leave us this fine Thursday? Well, for one, inflation didn’t solve itself, nor did the market guillotine portfolios today. Instead, investors got what they all needed… and that’s confirmation that things aren’t technically getting worse. Well… for one day, that is. Meaning, keep your head on the swivel as we head into Friday's opening bell. Until next time, friends… 

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

Market Gossip

> Trump signs executive order reclassifying cannabis, opening door to broader weed access (CNBC): “Ah sh*t, here we go again…” - weed stock investors

> TikTok Says It Signed Agreements to Create New US Joint Venture (Bloomberg): $500 bucks says Old Man Larry gets cold feet… 

> Congressional stock trading ban bill to get a vote in new year, House Republicans say (CNBC): Tell me you suck at insider trading without telling me.

> OpenAI just launched an app store inside ChatGPT (Engadget): AI slop… AI slop everywhere…
 

Meme of the Day

 

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Alphabet as mentioned in the article.