In today’s news of math ain’t mathin’, old man Icahn is the center of attention as he’s been charged by the SEC for hiding billions of stock pledges. The best part? He’s only getting fined a slim jim of only $2 million dollars. Pretty impressive risk management If I do say so myself... (sarcasm obvi). 

(Source: CNBC)  

According to reports, Icahn and his company, Icahn Enterprises, got slapped by the SEC for failing to disclose the pledge of up to 82% of Icahn Enterprises’ shares to secure personal margin loans. How much are we talking? Oh, just a casual $5 billion. 

“Nothing to see here, just the cost of doing business my friends.” - Carl Icahn probably (Source: CNBC) 

However, while the SEC wasn't exactly thrilled with this game of financial peekaboo, they only decided to fine Icahn $500,000 and his company $1.5 million. See: SEC’s version of “gentle parenting” when it comes to Billionaires. 

(Source: Giphy) 

Which is honestly mind blowing if you ask me, because for a guy like Icahn, $2 million is like my equivalent to $10 friggin bucks. And, while I may just be assuming here, I'd argue that if I failed to disclose 0.001% of that, I'd be thrown in prison faster than the judge could even mutter the words. 

Meaning, as we all know, when it comes to Wall Street, the standards are completely different from the standards held over guys like you and I. Call it unfair, or unjust, but reality is reality…

(Source: URPE) 

And while this whole saga kicked off when Hindenburg Research, the short-selling conglomerate responsible for body bagging companies like the Adani Group, it’s clear that the SEC must not take this too seriously considering the small fine amount and the fact that Icahn kept these under wraps since 2018. 

(Source: Luck Box) 

But again, apparently even after handing over the reins to his company earlier this year, Icahn’s image still looms larger than life on Wall Street and regulation for that matter. Just ask JetBlue, which had to give him two board seats due to his inescapable influence.

(Source: CNBC) 

Now of course, Icahn and his company didn’t admit to any wrongdoing. In fact, they even claimed they have a “strong compliance program” in place to make sure this doesn’t happen in the future. But as of now, they’re just happy to “put this matter behind them”, because you know, why dwell on the past when you can keep raking in billions, amirite? 

So with that said, if you’re an Icahn Enterprise investor today, sure the stock is down - 7% on the day, but just like the small $2 million fine, this is just a stark reminder that your homeboy literally runs the streets. In fact, he’s like the financial world’s cockroach - the dude survives everything. 

(Source: Giphy) 

Which apparently is both good for business, and longevity (despite the guy being 88 years old). 

So in the end, as we go about this Monday, let’s all relish in the fact that when it comes to us, the rules are different. And while Icahn is still paying some fines that barely dent his fortune, let this be even more of a reason to make “F’U” money in the future. Because clearly, money doesn’t just buy happiness, it buys freedom - from prison… literally. 

(Source: Giphy) 

At the time of this writing, Icahn Enterprises is down -7.07% on the day (down -10.65% YTD). 

 

(Source: Google Finance) 

Stocks.News holds positions in Icahn Enterprises L.P. as mentioned in the article.