“Look how they massacred my boy.” -Jensen Huang

Apparently, all it took to give Wednesday's post-election rally a shorter shelf life than Trump's press secretary (RIP) was one angry tweet from an 85-year-old multi-millionaire socialist.

And boy, did Bernie Sanders deliver.

Wednesday evening, fresh off Democrats sweeping both chambers of Congress, Bernie fired off a warning that “Americans don’t want Big Tech oligarchs wrecking the environment, gutting jobs and threatening humanity’s future.”

Shots fired. Clip unloaded.

And just like that, the slight post-election victory boner got slammed in a car door.

When the bodies hit the floor all was said and done, the Nasdaq had cratered 5.1%, officially entering correction territory more than 10% below last month's record. The S&P 500 ended the day down 4%, its worst session since April 2025.

“HAHA! SERVES YOU GREEDY MOTHERF**ERS RIGHT! THAT'S WHY I INVEST IN THE D—” -Dividend Dale*

Yeah, about that. The Dow apparently hired Donnie's midterm campaign strategists, surrendering 1,753 points (-3.3%) and giving back Wednesday's entire 1,511-point rally. 

In fact, things were so DOWn bad… the index had its worst second trading session following a midterm election since the index began in 1896. The same year Edison’s motion picture project made its famous New York theatrical debut.

“Sir, a second Grover Cleveland has hit the Dow.”

That's right. We've survived two world wars, the Great Depression, the dot-com implosion, and approximately 47 financial crises caused by people named Lehman.

And somehow, the man who showed up to a presidential inauguration dressed like he was waiting for the early-bird special at Cracker Barrel just broke 130 years of Wall Street history.

I am once again asking for my mom’s mortgage money unrealized gains to return to my brokerage account.

Of course, Bernie didn't single-handedly destroy the stock market. Investors were already getting sh*tting bricks about Democrats' plans to restrict America's trillion-dollar AI construction boom.

Remember, voters rejected data centers in 40 of 41 local ballot measures Tuesday, and Texas' newly elected governor campaigned on an immediate construction moratorium.

Bernie just showed up with the gasoline sustainably sourced lighter fluid. 

And nobody got burned worse than me the semiconductor industry.

The iShares Semiconductor ETF (SOXX) DAMPED nearly 11%, marking its worst trading day since the COVID crash of March 2020.

Every single component fell more than 6%.

AMD and Micron got absolutely demolished, falling 15% apiece. Nvidia and Broadcom dropped 8%, while Arm surrendered 12%.

Even Qualcomm, which had the audacity to BEAT earnings estimates, got rewarded with a 10% haircut after issuing disappointing guidance.

Congratulations on your earnings beat. Please proceed directly to the unemployment line.

And if you thought the chipmakers had it rough, look away from the companies actually building AI infrastructure.

CoreWeave fell 11%, while Nebius and IREN each collapsed 16%.

Oracle ate a 7% loss as investors began questioning whether Larry Ellison just committed hundreds of billions to an industry politicians are preparing to regulate like it's Three Mile Island.

Spoiler: Not great for Larry’s business.

Again, this wasn’t just a bad day… this was the kind of day the Robinhood app should legally be required to display the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. 

Case in point, the VIX, Wall Street's beloved fear gauge, exploded 65% to 27.45, its biggest single-day jump in more than two years.

Needless to say, if the market keeps throwing perfectly good stocks into the dumpster…

You know where to find me.

*Climbs into dumpster*

Until next time, friends!

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

Market Gossip

>Nvidia has lost nearly $1.4 trillion since its October record (Yahoo Finance): “I promised a red wave… I just didn’t say which kind.” -Donnie, probably

>Democrats to probe JPMorgan’s relationship with Jeffrey Epstein when they take Senate control (CNBC): Dimon Hands just became Sweaty Palms.

>Nintendo Switch 2 Sales Plunge Amid Memory Crisis; Bernstein Calls It "Not A Good Result" (Zerohedge): It's-a me, Mario Margin Call! 

>Peloton Forecast Tops Estimates in Sign of Comeback Progress (Bloomberg): The entire Nasdaq is getting its a** kicked, and somehow the disgraced stationary bike is going places.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News doesn’t hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.