“Hello, darkness my old friend…”

Well, today's Tesla Earnings day, and if you were wondering whether to bet the over (calls) or under (puts), the market already spoiled the surprise for you.

The Dow fell 0.8% (that’s 350+ points for those keeping score), the S&P 500 dropped the same, and the Nasdaq… got spanked the hardest, tumbling 1.5%.

And before you ask, no… it’s not all Elon’s fault (though he definitely contributed).

The real scapegoat (and rightfully so) was Netflix, which hasn’t taken this much public abuse since the Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson fight glitched. Shares crashed over 10% after the streamer’s earnings report missed expectations… thanks to a surprise tax hit from Brazil.

Translation: Brazil ripped 10% off Netflix’s profits by hitting them with a new levy on payments sent abroad. And just like that, $40 billion in market cap. Gone.

Oh, and probably completely out of spite, Donald Trump decided to rip a bigly smelly fart into the room right before Tesla’s big moment (because of course he did. According to U.S. officials, the White House is weighing new curbs on exports to China that involve U.S. software) meaning U.S. tech firms like Nvidia, Microsoft, and Adobe could see their China revenue pipelines choked off overnight. There’s hope the plan might not even happen, but the possibility alone was enough to cause even more selling.

Especially considering, Trump had already hinted two weeks ago that by Nov. 1, the U.S. would restrict exports of “any and all critical software.”

Meanwhile, Beyond Meat tacked onto its vegetarian diet, popping +95% after Wall Street Bets celebrated the beyond-broke burger brand getting added to the Roundhill MEME ETF yesterday… aka the nursing home for washed-up tickers.

Oh, and quantum computing stocks got zapped after Google announced a new chip that can crunch problems tens of millions of times faster than current systems. Investors took one look at Rigetti (-13%) and D-Wave Quantum (-17%) and essentially said, “Cool story, enjoy bankruptcy.” 

Over on the Stock Prophet Watchlist, we had a few smaller movers today… but our heavy hitters showed up big. BENF ripped +77% from our 7:24 AM alert, and BNBX added another +29% from the 8:02 AM call, putting us deep into triple-digit territory on the day.

Compare that to the 90% of the market still playing “how low can you go,” and yeah… we’ll take that as a win.

If you’re not following along yet, the alerts are 100% free and drop daily inside the Stocks.News app.  So stop reading about these moves like an obituary for missed gains… get in, get the alert, and actually be there when it happens.

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Tesla, Netflix, Microsoft, and Google as mentioned in the article.