Every analyst on Wall Street not named Dan Ives: “What we’re looking at is worse than the dot-com bubble…”

Investors: “You just don’t get it…”

Michael Burry: “I’m shorting Nvidia and Palantir.”

Investors: “We are cooked.”

If you needed proof that Michael Burry still moves markets in 2025, just look at today’s bloodbath.

After months of pure AI euphoria, all it took was Mr. Doomsday himself crawling out of his underground bunker for investors to suddenly squint at the price tags on these so-called “revolutionary” stocks and ask, “Wait… you’re charging how much for future profits?”

The Nasdaq ate a 1.8% loss, the S&P 500 slipped 1.1%, and the Dow coughed up 0.5%…  because dividend stocks move like they’ve got sandbags tied to their ankles… useless in a bear market, dead weight in a bull one.

Palantir led the tech bloodbath, bellyflopping 9%... and no, not because it missed earnings or lost a contract with Donnie Politics. The company beat expectations across the board, posted solid guidance, and bragged about its booming AI division.

So what gives? You ask? Valuation math, that’s what. Palantir trades at more than 200 times forward earnings… meaning investors have priced it like it’s selling moon dust and not government software. The stock’s up 150% this year, but even the most die-hard bulls seem to realize you can’t multiply infinity by infinity forever.

CEO Alex Karp didn’t exactly calm nerves either, going off on CNBC about how short-seller Michael Burry (yes, The Big Short guy) was “batshit crazy” for betting against Palantir and Nvidia.

“The idea that chips and ontology is what you want to short is batshit crazy,” Karp ranted. Which, to be fair, might be the most on-brand Palantir quote ever.

Nvidia and Amazon pulled back, Oracle slipped 4%, and AMD shed 2%. After months of non-stop gains, it feels like traders finally looked at the receipt for their AI positions and realized they might’ve accidentally ordered the lobster tower.

The S&P 500’s forward P/E ratio now sits above 23… near dot-com bubble levels. As Ameriprise’s Anthony Saglimbene put it, valuations are getting “really stretched.” (You don’t say?).

Over in Louisville, Papa John’s lost 12% after Apollo reportedly ghosted its $64-per-share buyout offer. The chain’s now facing its worst single-day drop since the pandemic… and since Papa himself decided to drop a few unapproved words on an investor call.

Cruise stocks decided to Carmen Sandiego themselves straight back to 2020. Norwegian Cruise Line got torpedoed 14% after missing revenue expectations (its worst day since April) while Royal Caribbean and Carnival grabbed their life vests and followed it into the icy depths.

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Amazon as mentioned in the article.