Despite Elon holding shareholders hostage on Tesla’s earnings call (profits down 40%, by the way) and casually demanding $1 trillion so he could “maintain a strong influence”  over the robot army he’s apparently building, Wall Street somehow shook it off.

Instead of focusing on the Tesla trainwreck, investors latched onto a fresh batch of strong earnings that screamed, “Relax, maybe we’re not totally f***ed after all.”

The S&P 500 rose 0.7%, the Dow added 0.4%, and the Nasdaq took off (+1%) thanks to a tech-heavy rebound powered by the usual household names: Nvidia, Broadcom, Amazon, and even Oracle, which jumped 3%.

The real dopamine, though, came from companies that actually make stuff. Honeywell soared 7% after crushing expectations and raising its outlook, while American Airlines took flight with a 5% pop after losing less money than expected and promising fewer “unplanned landings” in 2025.

According to data, over 80% of S&P 500 companies reporting so far have beaten expectations… proof that corporate America still knows how to make a buck, even with higher rates and Trump being stuck on his tariff sh*t. 

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt announced that Donnie will meet with Chinese President Xi Jinping next Thursday in South Korea. Translation: markets get a week-long vacation from heartburn before trade war headlines start flying again.

And you’re gonna be absolutely shocked when you hear this… we’ve got another gladiator stepping into the robotaxi colosseum. Daddy Jensen over at Nvidia just announced a shiny new partnership with Uber to dive deeper into autonomous driving. 

Together, they’re training next-gen AI models using Uber’s massive trove of real-world driving data… think rain-soaked intersections, chaotic airport pickups, and that one guy blocking traffic because he “swore it was the right turn.” The ultimate goal (they claim), is to make self-driving cars smarter, faster, and (hopefully) a little less murder-y. Somewhere, Waymo just quietly started chain-smoking.

And in today’s episode of “you can’t make this sh*t up,” Trump pardoned Binance founder Changpeng “CZ” Zhao… the same guy who pled guilty to money-laundering in 2023. Binance Coin (BNB) tacked on over 5%, proving forgiveness isn’t only good for the soul, it’s good for your crypto bag. 

Lastly, if you’ve been following our Stock Prophet Watchlist, you’ve probably noticed it’s been a quiet day, that’s because unless we see a great setup, we don’t send out alerts. But have no fear, that’s why we go hunting every day in the after-hours session. So make sure to keep the app open, because these moves can happen fast.

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Tesla, Uber, Google, and Amazon as mentioned in the article.