I want you to put the word out that the Santa Claus rally is back up…

As my grandpa would say, today’s not the kind of trading day you’d write home about… but somehow hopium is back on the up-and-up after yesterday tried to torch the holiday mood in a month that’s normally greener than a St. Patty’s Day parade in Chicago. (If you’ve never seen drunk Chicagoans in green face paint before noon, consider yourself blessed.)

Why, you ask? Thank Bitcoin which pulled off the equivalent of getting pantsed during PE class (down to $84K yesterday) and then showing up the next morning at $92K like nothing happened. Traders and gamblers everywhere are willing the rally into existence because there’s not a single real catalyst in sight… unless you count the Fed throwing gasoline on the sleigh.

And honestly, maybe that’s enough. The entire market is acting like Powell is about to slide down the chimney next week with a gift bag labeled: “87% chance of a rate cut… love, Jay.” The CME FedWatch tool (also known as the Magic 8-Ball of interest rates) is flashing a big fat “All Signs Point to Yes.”

Call it hopium, call it delusion, call it holiday magic… whatever it is, the Santa Claus rally is back on the menu.

Speaking of food… Instacart’s parent Maplebear took one straight to the ribs. The stock slipped more than 2% after Amazon (the undefeated champion of ruining other people’s business models) said it’s testing ultra-fast grocery delivery in Seattle and Philly. Thirty minutes or less.

Meanwhile, Instacart drivers are still hunting for the correct entrance to Whole Foods. Amazon essentially tapped Instacart on the shoulder and said, “Nice little grocery gig you got there… shame if anything happened to it.”

Then, out of nowhere, Boeing decided to deliver its shareholders an early Christmas miracle. Shares jumped 8% after the U.S. Navy handed them a $104.4 million contract to repair aircraft displays… which really means “please fix the stuff that wasn’t supposed to break.” Add some cheery “positive free cash flow guidance for 2026,” and investors saw it as a nice (and rare) win.

Meanwhile, American Bitcoin (the Saylor-copycat backed by the Trump bros) got completely obliterated. The stock plunged 37% and got halted multiple times. The whole selloff happened even as Bitcoin bounced… 

ABTC apparently left its “recovery mode” switch in the off position. Send your thoughts and prayers to the Trump bros… I’m sure they’ll scrape by somehow.

As for Michael Burry’s favorite asset class (AI chips), Marvell grabbed some spotlight (+2%) after news broke that it’s in advanced talks to buy Celestial AI in a multibillion-dollar deal… that is if Nvidia doesn’t swoop in with a bigger offer to add to his Cyber Monday credit card tab.

And lastly, today confirmed the Sydney Sweeney effect is undefeated.

 American Eagle spiked 15% after telling Wall Street that their holiday guidance was boosted by ads that had the entire internet frothing, doomscrolling, and arguing in the comments… and somehow buying jeans in the process. Controversy may be messy, but revenue is revenue. 

As for our Stock Prophet Watchlist, we had quite the day. Our biggest move of the day came from PLRZ which went full beast mode after our alert at 8:00am for a 76% gain. 

That’s two days in a row with big winners. And this week’s just getting started. Again, it’s only available for FREE on the Stocks.News official app. (If you haven’t already, you can download it here.)

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Bitcoin and Amazon as mentioned in the article.