Nobody:

Absolutely nobody:

SBF at 3 a.m. from his prison cell: "Alexa, how much money has CZ lost now?"

In arguably the most ironic scenario since Scar getting eaten by his own hyenas in the Lion King… CZ is getting a firsthand demonstration of the crypto bank run he helped unleash on FTX.

How the turntables…

After finally reopening withdrawals Sunday following North Korea's $6.3 BILLION crypto heist, Binance customers proceeded to put up Silicon Valley Bank numbers… yanking a staggering $4.65 BILLION off the exchange in less than ten hours.

Deposits during that same period?

A measly $1.01 billion.

And not even a Donnie Politic’s presidential pardon could help CZ get out of this mess.

Now, if you've been following this circus, you already know Binance spent the weekend dealing with the aftermath of the largest cryptocurrency hack in history.

Last Thursday, North Korean hackers allegedly made off with approximately $6.3 billion in digital assets, forcing Binance to temporarily suspend customer withdrawals while management scrambled to contain the damage.

And when the exchange finally reopened the floodgates Sunday morning?

Well, let's just say customers weren't particularly interested in sticking around to see whether Kim Jong Un had a sequel planned.

According to Binance, customers withdrew $4.65 billion between 6 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. UTC, while depositing $1.01 billion.

That works out to $384 million in net outflows every hour.

Or $6.4 MILLION every minute.

"I'm never gonna financially recover from this." -Tiger King CZ

But before you start picturing CZ frantically listing his personal belongings on Facebook Marketplace, there's an important distinction here.

Unlike FTX, Binance appears to actually have the money customers are asking for.

According to the exchange, the $3.64 billion exodus represented just 2.1% of its reported $171 billion in total assets.

And Binance founder Changpeng Zhao wasted absolutely no time reminding everyone.

"98% choose to stay!" CZ declared on X, pointing out that most withdrawals occurred within the first couple of hours after services resumed.

Translation: Only $3.64 billion walked out the door. Why is everyone being so dramatic?

To his credit, the numbers suggest Binance is weathering the storm considerably better than its now-incarcerated rival did four years ago.

Withdrawal volumes have reportedly started stabilizing, deposits remain substantial, and the exchange says it has already covered 95% of the funds impacted by Thursday's hack.

The remaining 5% consists primarily of smaller, less liquid cryptocurrencies that Binance says will take longer to replace.

Meanwhile, stablecoin issuer Circle has helped freeze more than $1.1 billion in stolen USDC, preventing the hackers from freely moving a sizable chunk of their digital loot.

Still, the financial damage isn't the only problem Binance has to worry about.

There's also the small matter of convincing customers that keeping their life savings on an exchange that just suffered the largest crypto hack in history is a perfectly reasonable idea.

And judging by Sunday's withdrawal activity, at least a few billion dollars' worth of customers would prefer to take their chances elsewhere.

The broader cryptocurrency market hasn't exactly been celebrating, either.

Bitcoin traded around $77,600 Monday, Ethereum hovered near $2,200, and the total crypto market has shed $80 billion over the past seven days.

For now, however, Binance appears to have avoided the nightmare scenario that brought down FTX.

Its reported reserves remain substantial, customers are still depositing funds, and management insists withdrawals are returning to normal.

Which brings us back to Sam Bankman-Fried.

After four years of watching the man who helped destroy his empire become crypto's undisputed heavyweight champion, SBF finally got to witness CZ experience a multibillion-dollar withdrawal stampede of his own.

Unfortunately for him, Binance appears to have committed the one unforgivable sin FTX never quite mastered.

Actually having the customers' money.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Bitcoin as mentioned in the article.