Some things never change…

Costco (-2.1%) reported earnings late Thursday… And again, it was another one of those “what more do you expect of me?” moments. It beat on revenue. It beat on profit. It sold 157 million rotisserie chickens, 245 million hot dog combos, and so much Kirkland bath tissue that it could wipe its way to the moon and back 200 times (probably). And yet? The stock still dipped after hours like the CEO walked on stage and announced the $1.50 dog-and-soda combo was going away. (Relax Chad. It’s not.)

The actual “issue” is comedy. U.S. same-store sales grew 6.0%… the Street was expecting 6.1%. That’s the great sin. One-tenth of a percent. Meanwhile, Canada ripped at +8.3%, e-commerce climbed 13.5%, and membership fees rose 14%. You’d think that would even out the score… but Wall Street’s decided Costco can’t have nice things.

It seems like the real red flag is that Costco’s done growing. Same-store sales have now slowed two quarters in a row, which makes analysts nervous when the S&P is up 13% YTD and Costco is basically flat as a pancake. Sam’s Club (+5.9% comps) is right on their heels, Amazon’s same-day game is getting louder, and the Street is whispering the dirtiest word you can call a stock: “dividend play.” (All my homies hate dividend plays).

As far as tariffs go… it’s a pretty glaring problem. About a third of Costco’s U.S. products are imported, so maybe that’s where a lot of the pessimism is coming from even though their CFO Garry Millerchip (real name) is going all in on U.S.-made goods.

Look, nobody’s worried about a competitor putting Costco out of business. Shares are up 168% in five years, and Sam’s Club (+5.9% comps) is still trailing behind. In the AI-obsessed stock market, if you’re not claiming you’ve reinvented civilization, investors would rather spend their money on the promise of electric flying scooters by 2098.

(Source: Yahoo Finance)

And until they pull a stunt like that, Costco will keep getting labeled the one thing no growth stock wants to be: boring. Ironically, the best thing Costco could do for its share price might be rolling out some absurd “AI warehouse” gimmick just to keep the Street entertained.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Amazon as mentioned in the article.