Who knew Valentine chocolate would be such a good investment? How? Well, Mondelez and Hershey just made it official: you're about to start paying 30%, 40%, even 50% more for the same ordinary chocolate goodness that’s been rotting in your pantry since last October. 

(Source: Giphy) 

In short, Cocoa prices have been absolutely ripping, nearly tripling last year thanks to West African crop disasters. The Ivory Coast—aka where most of the world’s chocolate dreams are born and die—is getting “rekt” by a dry season so brutal it makes California’s droughts look like a light sprinkle. Farmers are getting bodied, production is down, and now the world’s biggest chocolate pushers are passing the pain onto you.

For instance, not only did Mondelez CEO Dirk Van de Put (sounds like a Bond villain, ehh?) basically threaten investors that “consumers will need to get used to chocolate this is up to 50% more expensive”---but, Hershey Steve Voskuil basically added that “Yeah we raised prices last year, we’re gonna do it again this year, and you’ll keep buying it”. 

(Source: Yahoo Finance) 

And quite honestly? He’s not wrong. I mean what are we going to do—quick chocolate all together? Sure, it could be a good excuse to diet for a week, maybe two, but all it takes is one bad day at work for me to cop an $8 Snickers at my local gas station like a degenerate. 

Alright, alright all humor aside, but if you’re wondering whether anyone besides cocoa farmers are suffering, allow me to introduce you to Hershey’s stock price, which just had its best day in over a month (up 3.2%). Mondelez? Up too, but not as much (+1%). 

(Source: Giphy) 

Meanwhile, in the larger picture, both of these stocks have been getting annihilated over the last six months because investors were worried about rising costs eating into margins. But now that they’ve made it clear that YOU will be the one eating those costs instead, meaning the market is suddenly feeling a whole lot better about their business. Funny how that works huh? 

So yeah, enjoy your new reality where chocolate is officially a luxury commodity. Because unless cocoa prices magically crash, or you develop the willpower of a Buddhist monk, you’re paying up. The only real question is: at what point do we start seeing chocolate bars locked up in glass cases at CVS? Only time will tell, but for now, do your due diligence on chocolate stocks—and maybe, just maybe, go ahead and save up a stash just in case. 

(Source: Giphy) 

In the meantime, place your bets accordingly. And as always, stay safe and stay frosty, friends! Until next time… 

P.S. Want deep dives on the hottest AI plays before the rest of the market catches on? Want to know who’s riding the hype train and who’s actually building something that won’t collapse the second the AI bubble deflates? Want the inside track on the moves that matter before they hit the front page? Then quit playing around and subscribe to Stocks.News Premium ASAP… 

Stocks.News does not hold positions in companies mentioned in the article.