Started from the bottom now we’re here… 

Well, like I told you on Friday, the rally that spoiled Michael Burry’s fever dream of a recession set the tone for this Monday. The S&P 500 logged a second straight gain, up 0.47%, the Nasdaq Composite tacked on nearly 1%, and the Dow Jones Industrial Average absolutely printed another all-time high after playing just the tip with 50,200. 

(Source: Giphy) 

Of course, a few stocks were actively on fire (we’ll get to that in a moment), but for the most part… Tech did the heavy lifting once again. Nvidia added 2.4%, Broadcom popped 3.3%, and nobody asked too many questions because nobody wanted the answer. The AI trade remains the market’s emotional support animal. As for Oracle, shares were up nearly 10% after a DA Davidson upgrade tied to optimism around OpenAI actually paying its bills this year. Oracle quietly becoming the plumbing layer for the AI economy is one of those stories that sounds boring until it isn’t… and the stock is starting to act like it knows that. 

Meanwhile, the market also reminded everyone that gains are optional, but chaos is mandatory. Kyndryl Holdings, the IBM spinoff nobody was emotionally attached to, detonated 54% on massive volume (Read: 38 million shares traded against a 2.3 million relative average) after disclosing a review of cash management practices and immediately losing both its CFO and general counsel. Woof. 

(Source: Giphy) 

That said, the SaaSpocalypse hasn’t let up much either. Monday.com cratered more than 20% after weak guidance reignited the AI-disruption narrative. Growth’s still there, but investors are no longer paying premium multiples for “we’ll figure out the agentic stuff later.” The bar moved. Management didn’t. Elsewhere, industrial’s also got yeeted. Cleveland-Cliffs dropped 16% despite a narrower-than-expected loss, with Jim Lebenthal stepping in to buy the dip on the logic that it was simply overbought going into earnings. Bold strategy Cotton, lets see if it pay’s off for ‘em. 

In the midst of the chaos, Robinhood (+4.5%) went brrr as Wolfe Research issued their own upgrade as prediction markets help offset crypto volatility, with 2027 EPS estimates quietly getting juiced by over 60% in the past year. Oh, and media stocks ripped after Trump pulled out the Uno reverse card. Nexstar Media Group jumped 8%, Tegna gained 9%, and suddenly the merger went from regulatory purgatory to political tailwind. Translation: Markets love clarity, even when it shows up via Truth Social.

(Source: Giphy) 

Oh, and for you all you crypto mouthbreathers out there, Bernstein analysts say Bitcoin's recent correction is the weakest bear case in history. So yeah… I guess that’s something to hang you hat on (maybe).

All in all today was a beautiful Monday to say the least. Indexes are continuing to drift higher while we had just enough explosions to keep everyone honest. As for tomorrow, well… that’s a different story. Until next time, friends… 

If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.
 

 

☕ Market Gossip

> Databricks completes $5 billion funding round at $134 billion valuation (CNBC): Price of the brick going up… 

> Alphabet Embarks on Global Bond Spree to Fund Record Spending (Bloomberg): “I was born to soon” - Lewis Raneiri, probably

> AppLovin’s stock pops 14% after short seller CapitalWatch apologizes, retracts report on shareholder (CNBC): God forbid Applovin gets a little financial motion (read: violating partner agreements to create shareholder value)

> Lyft opens its ride-hailing app to teens (TechCrunch): “What could possibly go wrong?” - Lyft after seeing Uber faced with sexual assault charges 
 

“WTF” Meme of the Day

But seriously, what happens when one of Elon’s “space data centers” breaks?

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Robinhood, Uber, and Alphabet as mentioned in the article.