Ever had one of those days…  where you win free tacos for life but then immediately chip your tooth on the first bite? (Okay, me neither) but welcome to Capital One's Tuesday…

Capital One just went through the equivalent of buying a new Tesla, only to get sideswiped the moment you pull out of the dealership (by someone without car insurance). On one hand, UBS came in strong, upgrading Capital One’s stock to “Buy” and hiking their price target from $168 to $235. Apparently, UBS sees major potential in Capital One’s merger plans with Discover, which they’re banking (get it?) could deliver for years to come. 

According to UBS (who's clearly been drinking whatever Cramer keeps in his coffee mug), the Capital One-Discover marriage could be more profitable than selling deep fried Oreos at the fair. The deal would let COF work those credit and debit networks without balance sheet risk.

But, because the universe has a sense of humor, the CFPB chose this exact moment to slap Capital One with a $2 billion lawsuit.

And put your tin foil hat on… because the CFPB claims Capital One allegedly kept their "360 Savings" account interest rate stuck at 0.30% (while quietly rolling out a "360 Performance Savings" account with rates peaking at 4.35%. And what’s even worse? They reportedly told employees to stay quiet about the better account. 

Capital One's comeback response to the claim was riveting. They're "deeply disappointed" in the CFPB's timing… which is corporate for "Why you gotta expose us right now?" They're promising to "vigorously defend" themselves. 

And because bad luck comes in portions bigger than Texas barbecue, social media influencers are also suing Capital One's Shopping browser extension for allegedly snatching their affiliate commissions.

Now, for the numbers… right now, Capital One’s stock is cruising along, fueled by UBS’s (Cramer-like) endorsement and Wall Street’s excitement over the Discover merger. Investors seem to be treating the $2 billion CFPB lawsuit like an annoying fly at a picnic… irritating, but not enough to ruin the day (shares jumped 2.9% Tuesday). But if this lawsuit starts making real noise or uncovers something uglier, that calm ride could hit a pothole.

But hey, at least UBS is still in their corner. And in this market, sometimes that's all you need… that, and enough lawyers to fill a clown car.

P.S. Our "Insider Trade Tracker" recently flagged John F. Barry, CEO of Prospect Capital Corp, splurging $8.58 MILLION to scoop up 2 million shares of his own company’s stock at $4.29 per share. With PSEC trading near its 52-week low, Barry’s wallet says he’s betting big on the company’s 12.6% dividend yield and 21-year track record of payouts. Moves like this are why our tool is your ticket to tracking where the smart money flows… in real time. Oh, and FYI, we’re currently ranked #23 for free News Apps, ahead of Bloomberg and The Washington Post. 🎉 Curious to see what other power plays we’re tracking? Become a Stocks.News premium member today… or just keep enjoying our free content. No pressure. 😉

Stocks.News has positions in Discover, Capital One, and Tesla mentioned in article.