“I am the judge, jury, and executioner” - Brian Niccol, probably. 

Burrito aficionado turned annoying coffee connoisseur, Brian Niccol, is officially “D.O.G.E.’ing” 1,100 Starbucks corporate employees in a desperate move to attempt to course-correct a brand that’s been bleeding out. For more context, over four straight quarters, Starbucks has been getting rekt over the fact that customers are finally realizing they don’t need to burn $7 on a lukewarm latte when the OG Dunkin’ is across the street slinging caffeine for half the price. Prime example is Starbucks’ China market which seems to have gone the way of the dodo bird. 

(Source: Giphy) 

So now, Niccol, who got handed this steaming pile of corporate bloat last year, is trimming the fat. Of course, Niccol’s memo to employees was filled with the usual lingo—”streamlining,” “efficiency,” “nimble teams,” etc. Translation: Middle managers are becoming Niccols convenient scapegoat. 

To be fair, Starbucks had 16,000 corporate employees outside its cafes. Sixteen. Thousand. But here’s where it gets interesting: Niccol isn’t just slashing jobs—he’s also killing menu items, tweaking ordering algorithms, and trying to fix the absolute clown show that is Starbucks’ morning rush. Because, shocker, people don’t love waiting in line for a half-hour while Karen argues about the temperature of her burnt espresso. 

(Source: CNBC) 

And yet, Wall Street absolutely loved this move. Shares popped 2% after the announcement, because nothing gets investors going like a good old-fashioned round of corporate bloodletting. Layoffs = lower costs = better margins. But better margins don’t mean jack if customers keep walking away.

So again, while Niccol is doing what he can to make this turnaround stick—this doesn’t fix Starbucks’ main problems. The brand is stale, customer patience is nonexistent, and its biggest competitor is literally “any coffee shop that isn’t this expensive.” Cutting corporate jobs might make the balance sheet look prettier, but if Niccol can’t fix the actual consumer experience, this is just a band-aid on a bullet wound.

(Source: AP) 

The bottom line is that Niccol is betting that leander = faster = more profitable. Of course, will this move actually bring customers back? Maybe. But if you think Starbucks’ biggest issue was having too many corporate employees, you probably also think the McDonald’s ice cream machine is just “broken” and not part of a conspiracy.

The layoffs were the easy part. Now Niccol has to make Starbucks feel indispensable again—without completely alienating customers or gutting rewards programs. For now, we wait to see if this actually moves the needle.

(Source: Giphy) 

In the meantime, keep an eye on Starbucks (up 22.74% YTD) because if Niccol pulls this off, this stock definitely has more room to run. Meaning, place your bets accordingly, and as always–stay safe and stay frosty, friends! Until next time…

P.S. My buddy Jared is sharp as hell—probably one of the smartest guys I know. But when it comes to investing? An absolute clown. Why? Because he doesn’t grasp the one thing that separates winners from losers in the market: information. And not just any information—I’m talking about the kind of intel that Wall Street hoards like the FBI hoards Hunter Biden's laptop—because the second retail traders get their hands on it, their edge starts to disappear.

Moral of the story here? Don’t be a Jared. Get access to the real market-moving data, the stuff hidden behind paywalls and institutional gatekeeping by joining Stocks.News premium. At the end of the day, the market isn’t playing fair—so why should you? 

Stocks.News holds positions in Starbucks and McDonalds as mentioned in the article.