Brian Chesky has finally done it. He took a perfectly functional app…one that lets you pay $429 a night to sleep under a “Live, Laugh, Love” sign next to someone’s peloton… and turned it into a lifestyle platform. Why? Well, as it turns out, letting strangers rent your house and your time is the future of travel. Welcome to Airbnb 2.0: now with 10% more features and 300% more existential dread. 

(Source: Giphy) 

In short, Airbnb’s new app doesn’t just let you book a place to stay. Now it wants you to book a personal trainer, a catered dinner, and maybe a professionally guided architectural tour, all without leaving the platform or, presumably, your overpriced rental in Cleveland. 

This shift is part of a $200 to $250 million rollout that the company insists is the next phase of its evolution. According to Airbnb’s business chief Dave Stephenson, the goal is to make the platform feel more like a hotel… minus the consistent quality control, brand standards, or basic front desk. The update includes a “services” tab, launching in 260 cities, where users can book everything from spa treatments to “prepared meals” (which, yes, might just be a Grubhub order with better branding). The company says these vendors are vetted and, on average, have “10 years of experience.” No further details were provided. 

(Source: CNBC) 

What’s more is that this isn’t Airbnb’s first attempt at becoming more than a booking site. The company launched its “Experiences” arm back in 2016… with guided tours, cooking classes, etc…. and shelved expansion plans in 2020 when the pandemic took travel out back and shot it. Now, the “Experiences” tab is back and expanded, featuring 19 categories across 650 cities. There’s also a new line of Airbnb Originals, which includes, among other things, a Notre Dame tour with a restoration architect. It’s unclear who asked for this.

Oh, and there’s also a new messaging section where you can share photos and videos. No word yet on whether hosts can also upload their hidden nanny cam footage directly to your chat thread. Of course, the company says these updates come with “privacy improvements,” though no specifics were offered. (Again, given Airbnb’s history with hidden cameras and vague enforcement policies, users are expected to take that on faith). 

(Source: Giphy) 

But alas, why is Airbnb doing this in the first place? Because Airbnb needs money. The company’s Q1 revenue guidance was a wet fart… thanks to “softness” in cross-border travel from Canada (translation: Canadians are broke too). And when your core business is underperforming, you don’t cut costs. You add features. And you pray the market’s too distracted by Nvidia or Tesla call options to notice. 

Airbnb is betting that turning their app into a concierge service will put them in the same league as hotels. You know, the same hotels they spent the last decade trying to kill. The irony is not lost. Will it work though? Hard to tell. Especially given “Experiences” gut wrenching experience after Covid came through like a wrecking ball. 

(Source: The Verge) 

However, CEO Brian Chesky described the redesign as a total rebuild “from the ground up,” emphasizing the tech stack and claiming it will allow the company to innovate faster. Obviously, only time will tell if that’s the actual result or not, but for now… the app is live, the services are rolling out, and the company appears committed to turning every home rental into a boutique hotel, a wellness retreat, a group tour, and a social network all at once. Maybe that’s the future. Or maybe it’s just another phase. Either way, it’s happening.

Meaning, keep your eyes on Airbnb shares as we kick off trading today (Airbnb is up 0.40% in pre-market), and place your bets accordingly. Until next time, friends…

P.S. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you liked getting rekt. Let’s face it, retail investors get the short end of the stick all day everyday. It’s the smart money’s world, and we are just living in it–only useful when it comes to liquidity purposes in the market. Meaning, if you’re as pissed off as I was when I found out Milli Vanilli was lip syncing the whole time, then it’s time to go from investing blind, to investing smart. Luckily for you, the key is right here as a Stocks.News premium member. Click here to see exactly how our premium members are printing while others quake in the face of today’s market chaos. 

Stocks.News holds positions in Tesla as mentioned in the article.