First, Walmart’s AI warehouse baby, Symbotic, went up in flames… losing nearly 40% of its value after some “creative accounting.” Was it stupidity or someone trying to cook the books and transferring money to an offshore account? Who knows. Well now we’ve got billionaire hedge fund kingpin Israel “Izzy” Englander chucking 8.1 million shares of Walmart stock into the trash heap. That’s $1.1 billion worth of “nope,” for those keeping score at home. 

Englander doesn’t just wake up one day, sip his espresso, and decide to nuke 69% of his Walmart stake for giggles. Millennium Management, his hedge fund empire, had been hoarding Walmart shares like a doomsday prepper stockpiles canned beans. Then, out of nowhere, he bails faster than a CEO facing an insider trading scandal. Something smells fishier than a gas station sushi roll. (And yes, I’ll accept my Pulitzer now for that analogy.)

What makes this even weirder is Walmart’s current dominance. The retailer has been running the game like a retired NBA player dunking on middle-aged dads at LA Fitness. Inflation? Whatever. Interest rates? Cute. While other retailers are sobbing into their balance sheets, Walmart’s been on a tear, growing same-store sales and collecting in over $100 billion annually from its e-commerce hustle. Oh, and last quarter, online sales shot up 27%. Even rich people (the ones who usually sip matcha in Lululemon while side-eyeing Walmart shoppers) are now flocking to the retailer. Guess that Better Goods brand and one-hour delivery really hit different.

So why did Izzy decide to ghost Walmart? Maybe it’s the cash. Walmart stock has posted a 93% return over the past three years, absolutely dunking on the S&P 500. If you’re going to cash out, why not do it at all time highs? Or maybe Izzy saw the holiday retail bloodbath coming. Amazon and Target are sharpening their claws, and even Walmart might take a few hits. Then again, maybe Izzy just got bored of retail. Millennium’s been cozying up to sexy sectors like AI and healthcare, splurging on Microsoft and Eli Lilly. I guess groceries and bulk socks just aren’t cutting it anymore.

But let’s not cry for Walmart. With 4,800 stores, iron-clad supplier contracts, and a dividend streak older than most TikTokers’ grandparents, the retail giant isn’t going anywhere. And while Costco’s trading at a nosebleed-inducing 1.7 times revenue, Walmart’s a “modest” 1.1. Oh, and CEO Doug McMillon is sprinkling AI across the company like salt on fries. Half of Walmart China’s sales are digital, and Sam’s Club has officially gone all-in on scan-and-go checkouts. The glow-up is real.

At the end of the day, I’d wager Izzy’s playing the old “buy low, sell high” game we all love to quote but rarely nail. It’s a classic Tony La Russa move… retire after the St. Louis Cardinals win the World Series in 2011. If you’re going out, you might as well go out on top. And Walmart? It’ll keep running the retail game, whether Izzy’s on the sidelines or not.

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Stock.News has positions in Microsoft.