“I’ll take “I’m Filthy Rich” for $500 please…” - Billionaire Jeopardy

Jeff Bezos just offloaded another $5.7 billion in Amazon shares… right on cue, to remind you, me, and everyone else how much richer he is than us. The man has sold more stock than most people will ever earn breathing, and somehow still owns 8% of Amazon. That’s 884 million shares for anyone still doing math with tears in their eyes this fine Sunday. 

(Source: Giphy) 

In short, the latest sale was executed under a “10b5-1 plan,” which as we all know is a plan that  technically makes it legal but doesn’t make it less funny. This time though, he dumped the final 4.2 million shares this past Wednesday and Thursday for a neat $954 million. That brings his lifetime total to over $50 billion in Amazon stock sold since 2002. 

(Source: Bloomberg) 

Of course, none of this is weird. Bezos does this kind of thing regularly. Last year, he sold $13.6 billion worth of Amazon shares. Before that? Billions more. And no, he didn’t reinvest it into the middle class or finally tip a blue-haired Starbucks barista. He threw a chunk of it at Blue Origin, gave some away to nonprofits, and presumably spent the rest shopping for increasingly younger women who don’t ask questions about prenups.  Meanwhile, Amazon stock is up 38% since April, and investors are officially gearing up to bite their nails clean off over whether Amazon’s “AI arms race” will actually turn into profits or just another wet blanket during the earnings call. 

Translation: Jeff may or may not know something that we don’t… 10b5-1 be damned. As for earnings, analysts are expecting  $1.32 EPS on $162 billion in revenue. But in reality, who cares what happens during this week's call? The only earnings that matter this week are the ones Jeff earned by doing absolutely nothing… besides being Jeff LOL. 

(Source: Giphy) 

Oh, and just for kicks and giggles, here’s one final stat for you: The only Amazon share Jeff Bezos has ever bought?  One. Literally one. Two years ago. For $114.77. Probably just to screw with us. The takeaway? Well there’s really not one. Other than the fact that Amazon is literally Bezos’ ATM machine. We don’t necessarily know when he scheduled this sale in his 10b5-1, but regardless, it does make you wonder what we are about to witness this week. 

Again, analysts expect 9% revenue growth, which somehow still lags behind the rest of the “Magnificent Seven.” But with Bezos casually yanking out billions like he’s unplugging a vending machine, it makes you wonder. Meaning, keep your eyes on Amazon as we head into this week, and watch out for Thursday. We shall see if sugar daddy Bezos did, in fact, know something we didn’t. Until next time, friends…

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Amazon as mentioned in the article.