“CEO, entrepreneur born in 1964 Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos…” 

Jeff Bezos might’ve sent Katy Perry to space, but Andy Jassy just launched Amazon’s stock to another dimension (short-sellers have left the chat).

After months of analysts clowning Amazon for “missing” the AI boom… Amazon (+12%) decided to “stunt on them hoes” with a quarterly report that reminded everyone “we built the cloud, b*tches.” For starters, Amazon hauled in $180.2 billion in revenue (vs. $177.8B expected) and posted earnings of $1.95 per share (vs. $1.58 expected). That’s a clean double beat… powered by, who else, AWS, which brought in $33 billion in revenue, up 20% from last year.

That’s not all. Amazon’s homegrown AI chip division, Trainium2, has quietly become a multibillion-dollar business, growing 150% in just one quarter. And Jassy wasn’t done showing off… during the call he unveiled Project Rainier, an AI cluster loaded with 500,000 Trainium2 chips ready to fry whatever Google and Microsoft cook up next.

(Source: Financial Times)

Then came the finance team to ice the cake. Amazon’s CFO announced they’re pumping 2025 capital spending to $125 billion (up from $118B)... and flippantly tossed in that 2026 will be even higher. For context, that’s more than Meta, Google, and Microsoft combined are throwing at AI infrastructure as if to say to every other Mag 7, “you’re not that guy pal.”

Of course, while investors were smashing the BUY button, 14,000 Amazon employees were packing boxes at the same time (the irony, right?). The layoffs are part of Jassy’s “leaner, faster” plan… not AI-related, at least “right now.” Translation: wait six months.

Jassy told analysts that this wasn’t about cutting costs… it’s about culture. “When you grow as fast as we did… you end up with a lot more layers,” he said. Layers, apparently, that he’s now peeling off like onions at a hibachi grill.

Online store sales climbed 10%, thanks to another monster Prime Day, while Amazon’s ad biz jumped 24% to $17.7 billion… proving that the company’s real moneymaker isn’t Alexa or same-day delivery, but squeezing every penny from your browsing habits.

Still, despite the record-breaking day, Amazon’s stock is only up 1.6% for the year, far behind Microsoft (+24%) and Google (+49%). Although, that gap might not last long if AWS keeps showing off like this.

Because if Andy Jassy made one thing clear this quarter (besides the fact he clearly prefers robots to humans), it’s that Amazon wants to be the first company you think of when you think of AI.

And if that means spending $125 billion to remind the world who really runs the internet? So be it.

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Amazon, Meta, Google, and Microsoft as mentioned in the article.