Rack RAM City B*tch… 

Well, so much for the AI sell-off.

AMD put on an absolute clinic on the top and bottom lines after the bell Tuesday. Revenue jumped 45% from a year ago to $13.38B (vs. $13.09B expected), and adjusted EPS came in at $2.09 (vs. $1.95). Shares popped another 8% after hours, on top of a regular-session rally that snapped a three-day losing streak tied to fears that everyone’s overspending on AI (the stock’s still up about 125% this year). Bigly. 

The chipmaker that used to be more of a letdown than I am to my parents nearly doubled its data center revenue. That segment is now 64% of AMD’s total sales, up from 47% a year ago.

Now, Jensen’s less famous cousin (read: CEO Lisa Su) says server revenue should double in 2027, and data center AI growth is accelerating even faster than she projected 90 days ago. She also said AMD has “worked across our supply chain to secure the wafers, substrates, advanced packaging, memory, and other key components needed to support much higher growth next year.” Translation: AMD swallowed all the RAM. 

After years of chasing Nvidia in AI GPUs, AMD’s comeback is coming from CPUs (think: the chips inside the servers your OnlyF*ns subscription lives on). Agentic AI apps like Meta’s Muse need them to power virtual machines that run for hours on their own, which is what sent AMD to a record high in October.

Meanwhile, Intel posted 78% data center growth last week… and then promptly… Ate sh*t. Its stock plunged 29% on Friday over weak guidance and doubts it can actually meet demand. Just me, or does Intel still feel one bad quarter from turning tricks behind a dumpster to keep the lights on?

Not everything at AMD is winning, though. Its PC and gaming segment is riding the struggle bus, with revenue down 8% to $3.7B. Gaming alone fell 40%, as soaring memory costs make PCs pricier. Turns out the corner of the internet that’s as lonely as it is in need of deodorant (read: gamers) can’t afford RAM right now.

As for what’s next, AMD expects about $17B in Q4 revenue (vs. $16.2B expected), with a 55% gross margin, a hair under the 55.3% the Street wanted. Cool.

Oh, and its Helios racks, AMD’s answer to Nvidia’s Grace Blackwell and Vera Rubin systems, are starting to show up in data centers at Meta, Microsoft, Anthropic, OpenAI, and Oracle. AMD also agreed to pay its customers to buy its chips invest $1B in Meta’s stock sale (read: Zuck selling shares to pay for more data centers) and up to $5B in Anthropic. And Lisa and cousin Jensen have both been flying back and forth to Taiwan and South Korea to lock up supply from TSMC, SK Hynix, and Samsung. Keeping the incestual clusterf*ck that is the AI ecosystem all in the family.

Place your bets accordingly, friends. Until next time… 

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Microsoft and Meta as mentioned in the article.