“Sorry, I don’t speak poor” - Elon 

Well, while most of us were personally victimized with an INSUFFERABLE Raiders vs. Broncos game last night (read: my last root canal had more action than that friggin’ game), Elon Musk was getting his Dolla bills, dolla bills on. Why? Because Tesla shareholders just voted to hand Elon Musk the biggest payday in corporate history… a.k.a. A potential $1 trillion packing package.

(Source: Giphy) 

In short, roughly 75% of investors voted yes, presumably because “Daddy Elon” still has the power to make retail investors bark on command. However, the payout only kicks in if Tesla somehow manages to 5x its market cap to $8.5 trillion… meaning it has to become bigger than Apple, Microsoft, Saudi Aramco, and maybe Taylor Swift herself combined. 

(Source: Wall Street Journal) 

And yet, Elon celebrated the vote the only way he knew how… on a neon-lit stage in Texas, flanked by humanoid robots doing interpretive dance while he thanked his cult shareholders for believing in “a new chapter of Tesla’s future.” Translation: Make it Coachellabut  for engineers. Of course, not everyone was horned up over this.  A few boring institutions like CalPERS and Norges Bank voted against it because they thought “a trillion-dollar bonus might be excessive.” Which if you ask me, is 100% valid.

But considering, Musk did threaten to leave if he didn’t get his way… we can all guess who had the upper hand here. With that said, Tesla’s board framed the deal as “pay for performance”... as the stock vests in 12 tranches… one for every new product milestone: robotaxis, humanoids, probably colonizing Mars for tax purposes. Which means… which means… Elon’s going to have to do something about that 13% drop in vehicle sales Tesla just got served on a silver platter. But until then, investors don’t care. They’re betting on Elon the myth, not Tesla the business. They’ve been conditioned to believe every insane pivot…  AI, Dojo chips, Optimus robots, “Grok” chatbots…is just more genius at work.

(Source: Giphy)

And maybe it is. Every time the world doubts him, the stock rips, and the doubters look like the idiots in a morality play about greed and envy. So maybe, this is the perfect pay for performance setup that becomes shareholders' saving grace. Who knows. Regardless, Elon just secured the largest pay package in history. If he hits the targets, he’ll control roughly 25% of Tesla. If he misses, he’ll still be richer than several small countries. It’s a win-win… for him. Until next time, friends… 

At the time of publishing, Stocks.News holds positions in Tesla as mentioned in the article.